Trust is a very sensitive topic. It’s not given lightly (nor should it be), and if it’s broken, it can take 3 times the effort to rebuild, if it’s possible at all. So then, how do you make your girlfriend trust you?
Before anything else, we advise to stop thinking about it like a chore or a task. You shouldn’t feel like you’re actively working towards having your significant other trust you implicitly.
Trust should form organically, not because you’re working overtime on convincing someone to trust you.
Just take a moment and think about the situation in reverse. What would you think if your girlfriend kept insisting that she’s a trustworthy person and you don’t have to hide anything from her?
It could be genuinely sincere, but doesn’t it sound at least kind of suspicious?
When you deeply care about or love someone, you begin expecting them to show you that they can be trusted, not just tell you. Let’s talk a bit more about that.
Place Yourself in Her Shoes
We know, we know, you’ve heard this before. However, empathy is not an overrated thing at all. Everyone’s different at least in some ways; our dreams, aspirations, preferences, skills, etc, aren’t the same.
So, if you’re not willing to see a situation from another perspective too, how can you really understand what’s going on?
It’s no mystery that men and women see relationships from varying angles, but a desire for trustful behavior isn’t reserved to one gender.
Actually, you’ll find that if you look at the situation from her view, there are similarities to what you’re thinking yourself.
Do you want her to be honest with you? Do you want to actively plan activities you’ll do together? Do you want to know her circle of friends, and see that she’s letting you into her life?
Do you want to see that she’s showing trust? See, it all comes full circle!
Your girlfriend or wife is in a similar situation. She wants you to show her that she’s an important part of your life, not that you want to keep her at an arm’s length.
This includes not distancing yourself without explaining why, not asking for “freedom” aggressively, not ghosting or gaslighting her (at all).
After all, don’t you want the same things?
10 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Trust You
Now that the bigger picture makes more sense, let’s get into the specifics. After all, all big pictures are made from smaller ones that tie everything together. In this case, the smaller pictures are really just day-to-day life.
After all, that’s the foundation of your relationship. Grand getaways or expensive gifts are nice, sure, but you won’t always afford or have time for them. However, daily life happens even without you wanting it to.
This is how to make your girlfriend trust you more each day (or your wife).
1. Be Honest With Her
This piece of advice is perhaps the most cliche one, but it just works. Honesty is the pillar that keeps everything else together in your relationship. If you don’t reinforce this core pillar every single day, it’ll slowly crumble.
Now, remember that being sincere doesn’t mean being utterly frank. There’s a huge difference between “you look better in other dresses sweetie” and “that dress looks absolutely horrible on you”.
You don’t want to be ruthlessly transparent, unless you and your S.O. agree that it’s an important part of your relationship.
Otherwise, share your thoughts and opinions, but in a respectful and neutral way. You want to create quality conversations, not seem like you’re set on arguing.
In other words, don’t treat your partner like they’re a fragile being who can’t take the truth, but don’t be downright mean with them either.
2. Make Time for Her
Couple life is all about bringing two individual halves into a complete whole. If you want unrestricted freedom and to do whatever you want, when you want to do it, you should maybe reconsider being in a relationship.
Healthy & growth-focused romantic relationships should never make you feel “leashed”, but you have to acknowledge that you now have a degree of responsibility too.
If you haven’t spent time with your girlfriend in 3 days, it’s inconsiderate to just go to another round of beers with the boys in the evening.
If you care about the relationship and want it to work, show your girlfriend or wife that you want to spend time together and have fun. Of course, you can still have fun on your own or just with your friends, but not always.
Actively choosing to stay with your girlfriend rather than do something else is one of the greatest trust builders.
3. Adopt a Transparent Lifestyle
If you ever think that your partner isn’t going to understand why you’re doing something, so you decide to hide it from them, just stop. Please, just stop. Sharing your life with someone means letting them inside your soul.
Do you like to spend $100 on Legos sometimes? Perhaps you make sporting bets within reason? Do you get really drunk some nights with your friends?
Don’t be ashamed of who you are, as long as you’re in control of your habits.
Tell your girlfriend what you’re doing; because if you don’t, she’s going to inevitably start guessing herself.
That’s one road you don’t want to go down on, because she can reach conclusions that are way worse than what you’re actually doing.
4. Be Understanding
When your wife is just venting her frustrations, you don’t need to provide a solution. We know it’s counter-intuitive, but it’s what you should do.
This isn’t something to be solved by you; you just have to show you’re there for her to listen and to empathize.
She just needs to let things off her chest. If she wants your help with it, she’ll ask.
Otherwise, she’ll feel as if you don’t truly care about her emotions, only about the underlying problem and how to fix it.
5. Answer Her Texts
We know you’re busy, but so is your significant other. If she makes time to reach out to you during the day to see how you’re doing, so can you.
Replying to texts, or especially being the one to initiate the conversation, shows that you’re thinking about her no matter what else is going on.
This will make her feel valued, appreciated and respected.
6. Don’t be Late!
For your date, for important appointments, for an event you’re going to either with her or with a group; just overall, don’t be late.
If you’re not on time when you have to meet up, you’re signaling that being there isn’t a priority for you, or that you just don’t care that much.
It might not be true at all, and you just missed the bus or had car troubles, but leaving 15 minutes early will always pay off when she smiles at seeing you there.
If you can’t help it and are going to be late no matter what, text or call to let her know.
7. Stop Keeping Secrets
Women have an uncanny talent for just knowing when you’re keeping a secret. Perhaps it’s the renowned female intuition! No matter the explanation though, getting caught up in a complicated lie or in a secret won’t end well for you.
Now, we’re not saying to just say out loud everything that goes through your mind, because we all have weird thoughts better kept to ourselves.
Go for a 90 – 10 percentage, where the 90% is the disclosure.
For example, if you’re in a restaurant together, and your ex happens to be close to your table, just tell your partner that! What’s the worst that could happen?
You leave the restaurant. Instead, if she finds out herself, you could get into an argument about it.
8. Show Interest in Her Passions
Another great thing you can do to make your girlfriend trust you is sharing her interests. You don’t have to be as passionate about them as she is, only to show willingness to partake.
After all, you’d love for her to be interested in what you like too, right?
The trick is keeping the give-and-take balanced. If you see her really involved in something, start asking questions and let her “initiate” you into the hobby. You’ll see she’ll do the same!
9. Meet Her Friends
Friends are an essential part of who we are and how we lead our lives. Plan some activities together; just you, her, and who she wants.
There’s plenty of time to meet up together with your friends as well, but become a part of her group too.
Don’t try to be liked too hard though, as you’re not interviewing for a job. Just be yourself! Your S.O. likes you as you are, so her friends will too.
10. Trust Her Yourself
No matter if you’re wondering how to make your girlfriend trust you more, or your wife, you have to reciprocate. If she tells you she’s going out with friends, don’t follow-up with “who else is going?” or “where are you going to?”.
That will make you seem controlling and suspicious. Place faith in your partner, and faith will be placed back in you.
You’re in a relationship together to share love and affection, not to investigate each other’s whereabouts or activities.
We suggest you go with a “have fun!” or “tell them I said hi!” when your S.O. is going out with friends.
One Last Piece of Advice
We believe that meaningful conversations are what keep people together in a relationship and help them grow. That’s why we created Better Topics, the world’s first replayable card game for couples!
Each round, a player uses a question card, and their partner answers to the best of their ability (plus the other game rules, of course).
If you want quality communication on a daily basis, why not download the app today? It’s free on both iOS and Android!
And, if you’re looking for some actual cards that you can lay on a table, we have that too. Check out the complete collection!
