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Wondering ‘Why Does He Keep Me Around’? Here are 10 Reasons Why

Are you wondering ‘why does he keep me around’? 

You probably already know that a person’s behavior is influenced by the experiences and the environment in which he or she grew up. 

Moreover, all our psychological and emotional traits are also influenced by technology, the cultural context we grew up in and social norms. All of which contribute to the formation of our attachment style and the way we approach our relationships. 

We all know that in a relationship, women and men behave and respond differently to the various stimuli they come in contact with. And psychological studies confirm that men are more inclined to be more emotionally detached than women.

That being said, we’ve put together a list of the 10 most common reasons why your partner keeps you around. If he doesn’t want a relationship. This list is meant to help you have a helicopter view upon your relationship. And why not, help you improve it. 

Not all reasons listed are a dead-end. In fact, some of the reasons below can be addressed with the first replayable card game ever for couples, Better Topics

Why Does He Keep Me Around If He Doesn’t Want To Be In a Relationship

1. He is a conqueror

One of the most obvious reasons why he’s simply keeping you around is that he has no serious intentions at all. Usually, men like challenges.

Most of them, at some point in their lives, used women to dress their egos or simply to have fun. 

If he sends you confusing signals. If he often disappears without any explanation and reappears citing suspicious or downright implausible reasons for disappearance, there is a very good chance you have come across a man who just wants to enrich his record. 

2. He is addicted to work

There are people who, from the moment they wake up until they fall asleep, think only of work. For them, their career is their top priority. They have neither the time nor patience to build a serious relationship. 

This does not mean that, at some point, they will not consider a relationship. But they will probably approach it extremely pragmatically.

They’ll also probably maintain it only as long as their professional path is not affected. 

When you find yourself in a relationship with a workaholic, the best thing to do is block dedicated time to talk about your relationship.

That’s why we created Better Topics, the first replayable card game that helps you improve communication and rekindle desire

3. He is a perfectionist

The pursuit of perfection is a positive aspect of life. But there are people who are looking for “PERFECTION” in capital letters.

These men will seek to spot flaws in any woman they meet, trying to change her to conform to their standards.

Eventually, such a man will refuse to get emotionally involved, considering that you are not good enough for him.

4. He is far too dependent or independent

Too much dependence or independence is not good at all. Surely, you have met people who are always looking to have the approval or validation of others and are guided by their opinions even when it comes to choosing a partner. 

The most common cases are those of men who take into account their mother’s or friends’ opinion who have to approve of their partner.

On the other hand, there are the kind of men who value their independence too much.

These types do not want to become vulnerable in front of others. Even if this vulnerability actually translates into attraction to a potential partner.

Both categories avoid getting involved in serious relationships and become emotionally detached.

5. He has unhandled painful experiences from the past

Another obvious reason why a man avoids getting involved in a relationship is because he has had toxic love experiences. Maybe he was abandoned in a brutal, unexpected, painful way. 

Maybe he was deceived and then he is tempted to judge any woman he meets through the filter of these experiences. 

Therefore, we advise you to keep a safe distance from any potential long-term partner who prefers temporary relationships without emotional involvement. 

6. He lived a complicated childhood

As mentioned earlier, all people are the product of their previous experiences. And, of course, childhood is the period that most influences our personality. The way we live our childhood greatly influences our future. 

So, if your partner had a tormented childhood, in which he did not enjoy affection, if his parents often quarreled in his presence, if there was tension in the family, it is very possible they prefer emotional detachment in a relationship. 

Because all the reasons listed above prevent him from opening up and expressing himself emotionally. Fearing that he could reopen the wounds of the past.

7. He is financially unstable

Although times have changed when it comes to money, many men still believe that they should have higher incomes than the women they date.

Therefore, a woman who earns more is rarely considered as a potential partner. Because it is seen as a threat, especially to their pride. 

So, if a man is in a period of financial instability, he will have many problems related to self-confidence and self-respect.

And that, automatically, will influence his relationship with you. If he feels that he can’t give you the things or experiences you want or that he can’t keep up with your lifestyle, he may not want to get involved in a relationship with you.

8. He has issues in his family

The reason he doesn’t want to get involved in a relationship with you could be a family problem that worries him or takes over him completely. In this case, solving or resolving that problem could lead to a soul availability. 

However, we would not advise you to take into account a waiting period. That’s because, on one hand, you do not even know how long it will take, and on the other hand, you don’t know what emotional consequences it will have on him.

9. He has insecurities

Maybe you have the perfect job, from which you earn very well. Or maybe you look like you’re off a catwalk. Maybe you are very popular, influential, have a rising career or you are really famous.

Well, if you are in one of these situations, he might feel very intimidated by you. 

In other words, he could feel insecure about himself and his ability to seduce, afraid that at any moment you may find someone who is superior to him.

This insecurity makes him cautious about your relationship and, even more so, willing to keep his distance.

10. You have different goals in life

In a relationship, it is very important for the two partners to share the same values . And also principles and to want the same things in life. 

If one of you is very dedicated to their career or wants to travel the world far and wide, and another wants a quiet family life, this incompatibility will cause him to keep his emotional distance and not get involved in a relationship with you. 

Ultimately, if a guy tells you he doesn’t want to keep you around, believe him. But do that only after you have tried everything: therapy, couple games, open communication, practicing mindfulness.

This is because you need to leave the relationship with a peaceful heart. You can’t change the other. 

Guys who live their lives in this gray area between being committed in a relationship and staying in a friendship, are guys who will never commit.

It’s up to you to walk away and look for someone who will recognize your amazing qualities, and embrace you fully!  


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