Welcome to relationship anarchy!
What if I told you that love doesn’t have to come with a rulebook?
Think of it like a punk rock concert, loud, unpredictable, and totally freeing.
It’s the perfect way to build relationships that actually fit your life, not someone else’s idea of what love should look like.
Now, before you picture people setting fire to their wedding rings or living in wild love communes, let’s slow down.
Relationship anarchy isn’t just about ditching monogamy (though, that can be part of it if you want). It’s about throwing out the traditional rulebook altogether and creating your own.
And guess what?
Fries in bed are totally allowed.
What is Relationship Anarchy, Anyway?
First, let’s get one thing straight: relationship anarchy means no more hierarchies.
You know, those old-school ideas where romantic relationships are somehow more important than friendships or family.
Nope, not here.
In relationship anarchy, every relationship can be equally important. Even your cat (you know you want to admit it).
This is where the magic happens: You get to decide how your relationships look!
Maybe your best friend is your life partner, and your romantic relationships are more casual.
Or maybe your dog is your one true love, and everyone else just has to deal with it.
Whatever works for you!
It’s not just about who you love. It’s how you love.
You make your own rules, negotiate your own boundaries, and let go of outdated expectations.
Kind of like eating ice cream for dinner: technically not “right,” but definitely not wrong either.
Who’s Relationship Anarchy For? (Hint: Not Just for Poly People)
One big myth: people think relationship anarchy equals polyamory.
Wrong!
Sure, some anarchists are poly, but you can be monogamous and practice relationship anarchy.
The real question is: are you tired of labels and rigid structures?
Then welcome aboard.
Relationship anarchy isn’t just for people who are out here juggling five partners like it’s no big deal.
It’s for anyone who wants to live, love, and organize their relationships based on what works for them.
Maybe your platonic relationships mean more to you than romantic ones.
Maybe your sibling is your ride-or-die, while your romantic partner is more of a Netflix buddy.
Totally cool.
Oh, and yes, your dog can be your primary partner. Zero judgment here.
The 9 Principles of Relationship Anarchy (With a Twist)
Let’s break down the core principles of relationship anarchy.
But like, in a way that makes sense in real life.
These principles are your roadmap to navigating the chaos.
So buckle up!
Love is Abundant
Love isn’t some limited resource, like that last slice of pizza everyone’s eyeing.
It’s infinite!
You can love more than one person without taking love away from someone else.
Just like how you can be obsessed with both tacos and sushi.
Love is like a bottomless brunch: there’s always more, and everyone can have seconds (or thirds).
So, no need to ration your feelings.
Customize Your Relationships
Relationships aren’t one-size-fits-all.
They’re like IKEA furniture: customizable, but also sometimes confusing, and requiring more instructions than you thought.
You get to build your relationships based on what works for you, not what society says.
Maybe you want a romantic partner who doubles as your karaoke buddy.
Or maybe your main relationship is with your Xbox (totally valid).
Build your love life like you would a playlist: mix, match, skip, repeat.
Whatever works!
Consent Is Key
This one’s huge.
No surprises, no assumptions!
Think of consent like the sacred “Do you want fries with that?” question at a drive-thru.
Always check in!
Communication is your best friend here.
Whether it’s about boundaries, expectations, or the fact that you need alone time to binge-watch a new series, ask first, make sure everyone’s on board, and respect the answer.
After all, no one likes being served a dish they didn’t order.
Non-Ownership
Here’s a wild concept: people aren’t possessions!
Shocking, I know.
In relationship anarchy, there’s no “you complete me” business.
You’re a whole person, and so are the people you’re in relationships with. No one owns anyone, and there’s no expectation that your partner’s time or energy belongs solely to you.
You know how you can have your favorite mug, but also love all your other mugs?
Relationships can be like that, too.
Freedom and respect for autonomy are key.
So, let’s all stop treating people like we’d treat our favorite hoodie (even if it is really soft).
Honesty and Transparency
Ever wished you had “read receipts” on feelings?
Well, relationship anarchy is all about keeping things open and honest, so you never have to wonder what page someone’s on.
No secret agendas, no hidden feelings.
If you’re thinking it, say it.
Be real, even when it’s awkward. “Hey, I don’t really like that pizza place” or “I need more space this weekend” shouldn’t feel like bombshells.
The more transparent you are, the fewer surprises (the bad kind, at least).
Break Free from Labels
Labels can be so restrictive. It’s like trying to fit your entire personality into a two-word description: “best friend,” “boyfriend,” “life partner.”
Sure, labels help sometimes, but they can also limit what relationships can be.
Relationship anarchy says “Nah, no thanks.”
You get to decide what you call your relationships, or if you call them anything at all!
Maybe you’re “just two people who love each other but don’t want to put a name on it,” or maybe you’ve created a brand-new term for your bond. Either way, labels aren’t required.
Call it whatever you want, or nothing at all.
Expectations Are Negotiable
Traditional relationships tend to come with these unspoken checklists: date, move in together, get married, have kids, etc.
But in relationship anarchy, there’s no one-size-fits-all expectation.
It’s like customizing your phone plan: you get to pick what you want, and skip what you don’t.
Want to live together but not share finances?
Cool.
Want to have separate vacations but celebrate every holiday together?
Go for it.
The key is that everything is negotiable. You get to design your relationship. No pre-made templates required.
Respect Autonomy
You do you!
This is probably the most freeing part of relationship anarchy.
Just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you’re glued together at all times.
They’re still their own person, with their own needs, interests, and life.
And so are you!
Think of it like being in a really fun two-person (or more) club, but with no rules about attendance.
Your partner isn’t required to be at your side 24/7, and neither are you.
Whether it’s solo hobbies, separate friend groups, or even just wanting to go to the movies alone sometimes, go for it.
Celebrate your independence within the relationship.
Embrace Ambiguity
Who says you have to have all the answers?
Life is messy, and so are relationships.
Sometimes, there’s no need to Define The Relationship (DTR), and that’s okay!
Relationship anarchy encourages you to live in the grey area.
Maybe you don’t know exactly what your relationship is, but if it feels good and works for you, who cares?
Relationships don’t have to come with a label or a neatly packaged title.
Maybe you’re dating, maybe you’re not.
Maybe your best friend is your emotional support system, or maybe your partner is also your biggest rival in Mario Kart.
It’s all good!
Ambiguity can be a beautiful thing.
These principles are more than just guidelines.
They’re permission slips to do love your way!
You get to decide how each relationship works, and you’re not bound by anyone else’s rules.
Whether you’re sharing pizza, hearts, or space on the couch, relationship anarchy is all about your freedom to make love work for you.
And seriously, who doesn’t love that kind of chaos?
Why Traditional Relationship Models Are Like Expired Milk
Let’s be real: traditional relationship models can feel like that old carton of milk hiding in the back of your fridge.
At first glance, it seems fine, but give it a sniff, and you know it’s time to let it go.
These models are outdated, and honestly, they don’t work for everyone.
They’re like buying a pair of “one-size-fits-all” pants and realizing they don’t fit anyone quite right.
First, let’s talk about the typical trajectory: meet someone, fall in love, move in together, get married, buy a house, have kids, grow old together.
Blah, blah, blah.
It’s like a recipe you’re supposed to follow, but who decided on these ingredients?
What if you don’t even like half of them?
Imagine baking cookies with tuna and pickles just because “that’s what everyone does.”
Gross, right?
Exactly!
The truth is, life doesn’t follow some cookie-cutter mold.
Why should our relationships?
The traditional model assumes that there’s only one way to be happy: find “The One,” get married, and spend the rest of your days staring lovingly into each other’s eyes (or more realistically, bickering about laundry).
But for a lot of us, that model feels like trying to jam a square peg into a round hole.
Some of us want to date casually forever, some want to live with friends instead of a romantic partner, and others might prefer to put career or adventures ahead of settling down.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
Let’s also take a moment to acknowledge that traditional relationship models were built in a time when people lived shorter lives and had way fewer choices.
Back then, you weren’t expected to live until 90, and people got married more for survival than for love. You needed someone to help you churn butter or plow the fields.
But, unless you’re living in an Oregon Trail simulation, those survival needs aren’t driving modern relationships anymore.
We’ve evolved, but the standard relationship model?
Not so much.
And don’t even get me started on the idea that romantic relationships are automatically the most important ones in our lives.
The traditional model teaches us that romantic love should be placed above all else. Your friendships, family relationships, and even your own personal growth get pushed to the backburner.
It’s like making one dish at a buffet the only thing you’re allowed to eat. Sure, I love mashed potatoes, but sometimes I want a little mac and cheese too, you know?
What about the pressure to get married?
Weddings are practically a whole industry designed to make us believe that getting hitched is the ultimate goal.
You’ve got movies, commercials, and even your mom’s best friend’s cousin saying, “So, when’s the wedding?”
It’s like society handed us all a pre-printed calendar with “Marriage” as the final event.
And let’s not forget the over-the-top expectations about having kids, buying a house, and living in suburban bliss.
Not everyone wants that!
And for those who do, it’s fine, but it’s also not the only path to happiness.
In relationship anarchy, we say, “Nah, we’re good,” and toss those outdated expectations in the trash, like expired yogurt.
Relationships aren’t about hitting life milestones on a checklist.
They’re about what works for you and your people.
Maybe your best friend is more important to you than any romantic partner.
Maybe you and your partner don’t want kids and would rather travel the world together.
Or maybe you prefer to live alone and see your partner once a week for sushi and movie nights.
All of that is valid.
So, why are we still clinging to traditional relationship models when we’re living in a world with so many options?
It’s like choosing to use a flip phone when you’ve got a smartphone sitting right there.
We’re allowed to update our technology, so why not our relationship styles?
Let’s face it: traditional relationship models are like expired milk: stale, unappetizing, and not for everyone.
Time to toss them out and embrace something fresher. Something that actually makes sense for your life, not someone else’s fantasy.
The Freedom and Challenges of Relationship Anarchy
Here’s the best part of relationship anarchy: freedom.
Glorious, messy, beautiful freedom.
You get to make the rules, or not make them at all.
Want to prioritize your best friend over your romantic partner?
Cool.
Want a romantic partner who doesn’t live with you, and maybe never will?
Totally fine.
Want a pizza night with your platonic soulmate to be just as important as an anniversary with a romantic partner?
Go for it!
With relationship anarchy, you’re no longer confined by societal expectations.
It’s like opening the cage and realizing you’ve had wings this whole time.
Imagine designing a relationship that fits like your favorite pair of jeans: the one pair that’s actually comfy and makes you feel good.
That’s what relationship anarchy offers.
You decide what matters most, what your relationships look like, and who holds a special place in your heart.
You can reject the idea that romantic love is automatically at the top of the priority list.
If your best friend is your number one, and your romantic partner is more of a “let’s meet up on the weekends” kind of thing, it’s all good.
Freedom, baby!
But with great freedom comes great responsibility. (Yes, I’m quoting Spider-Man here, because it fits.)
The beautiful thing about relationship anarchy is that you don’t have to follow anyone else’s blueprint, but you also don’t get a ready-made guide.
There’s no “How To” manual for building these kinds of relationships.
So, if you’re not communicating clearly or setting boundaries, it can get confusing fast.
You’ve got to be ready to have some tough conversations, like who’s taking priority in your life, and when. And let’s be honest, when there’s no rulebook, you sometimes find yourself winging it more often than not.
Here’s where things can get tricky: ambiguity.
Without those traditional roles to fall back on, you might find yourself in a murky zone.
If you’re not calling someone your “partner” or “boyfriend,” then what are they?
Does it even matter?
Sometimes, the uncertainty is freeing, but other times it can feel like walking on a tightrope with no net.
You’ve got to be comfortable living in the gray area and navigating relationships without all the usual markers.
It’s like being in a band with no setlist: you can play whatever you want, but sometimes the crowd (or your partner) wants to know what’s coming next.
Then there’s the challenge of managing multiple important relationships without the old hierarchy.
In traditional models, there’s a built-in ranking system: romantic partner > family > friends.
Relationship anarchy throws that system out the window.
But how do you juggle when everyone is a priority?
What if two people you love need your attention at the same time?
You might find yourself feeling pulled in multiple directions, and let’s be real, there’s no easy answer.
You’re creating your own map as you go, which can be both exhilarating and overwhelming.
And, oh boy, let’s talk about jealousy.
It’s real, and it’s messy!
With relationship anarchy, you’re encouraged to build multiple meaningful connections, which can sometimes lead to feelings of jealousy or insecurity.
Since there’s no default relationship hierarchy, those old jealousies can creep in when your partner is spending extra time with someone else, or when your best friend is getting closer with another person.
The key here?
Communication!
Jealousy can be managed, but it requires honesty and regular check-ins.
Just like you wouldn’t ignore a weird sound coming from your car, don’t ignore jealousy. Tackle it head-on, before it turns into something bigger.
There’s also the challenge of explaining your relationships to others, like family or friends who still cling to traditional models.
Good luck explaining to your grandma why you don’t want to get married or why your roommate is actually your life partner.
Relationship anarchy often requires extra patience when dealing with people who just don’t get it.
And trust me, they will ask questions.
Lots of questions.
Like, “But when are you two going to settle down?”
Or “Isn’t it time you made this official?”
Having the freedom to structure your relationships how you want is amazing, but it can also make you feel like you’re constantly defending your choices to the rest of the world.
But here’s the thing: even with all the challenges, the freedom is absolutely worth it.
You get to build a life and a network of love that works for you.
You’re not tied down by society’s expectations or anyone else’s definition of love.
Yes, it’s a bit chaotic.
Yes, there are tough moments.
But the beauty of relationship anarchy is that it lets you love without limits.
You get to live and love in a way that’s authentic to who you are, not what you’re told you should be.
And that, my friend, is priceless.
Conclusion
Relationship anarchy is all about breaking free from the old rules and creating relationships that truly work for you.
It’s about being intentional, communicating openly, and having the freedom to love in a way that feels authentic.
Yes, it can be a bit messy and sometimes uncertain, but that’s where the magic happens!
You get to design your relationships on your own terms, and that’s an empowering thing.
But remember, at the heart of it all is communication! It’s the glue that holds everything together. Whether you’re navigating multiple relationships, redefining success, or just trying to figure out who gets to pick the movie on date night.
And here’s where I’ve got the perfect tool for you: the Better Topics Card Game for Couples. It’s a fun, playful way to boost communication with your significant other.
Whether you’re just starting your relationship anarchy journey or you’re looking to strengthen your existing bond, this game will help you talk about the important stuff while keeping things light and fun.
Better Topics is designed to spark deep conversations, encourage bonding, and help you stay playful with each other.
Imagine having meaningful discussions with your partner, while laughing and getting to know each other on a whole new level.
No matter what your relationship looks like, romantic, platonic, or somewhere in between, this game helps you keep communication flowing, which is the foundation of any successful relationship, anarchy or not.
So why not grab a deck, play it with your partner, and see how much closer you feel afterward?
It’s the perfect way to keep the conversation going, build a stronger connection, and have a ton of fun while doing it.
Ready to revolutionize your relationships and level up your communication?
Get your hands on Better Topics and start playing today!
