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What’s a Twin Flame & How To Know If You Have Found Yours?

I have heard of the concept of twin flames before. However, I was always confused as to what it is exactly.


I was even more confused as many ‘spiritual’ teachers and coaches use it interchangeably with soul mate.


So, I’ve done some research on the topic and below is what I’ve discovered. 

I was quite surprised to learn that there is a world around the twin flames theory and many practices on how to call on your twin flame. 

What is a twin flame

Let’s start with the beginning. 

Considering we are talking about souls and feelings, there is very little that can be actually proven about this. 

And there is no 100% guarantee that all this is even true and not just some made-up theories to explain the intense emotions we sometimes feel when we meet someone. 

It’s a lot like the law of attraction. You cannot really put your finger on it, but you know something IS there. 

However, a twin flame is supposedly a part of your soul that mirrors yours. This doesn’t mean that you’re not complete and you need to find your twin flame in order to be so. 

It just means that you’re from the same ‘egg’ (if we were to talk about real twins), but they are opposite to you. 

They are oftentimes described as souls that have reincarnated together throughout many lifetimes to help each other evolve, grow and experience whatever they came on earth to experience. 

They’re the Ying to your Yang. You complete each other and also have a very intense connection with each other. 

The most common explanation for this is that whenever your soul is ready for exponential and very important growth, your twin flame is ready to appear in your life. 

The meeting with this person is, usually, quite by chance and almost random. 

However, the connection between the two of you will be very intense and very magnetic. 

The interesting thing about twin flames is that they are not necessarily meant to be with us for a lifetime.


Because the meeting and the relationship with them is so intense, we tend to learn our lessons and then one way or another move on. 

Hence why the term ‘flame’ is used. 

Pretty much like a flame, this person will enter your life, will set it on fire, meaning the intensity is very high. And then they might just leave, which is the ‘dying out of the flame’ part. 

It might sound scary but it actually can be such a great experience. 

Some of us might have already gone through a meeting and a relationship with our twin flame, and will immediately recognise it as such after finding out what is a twin flame. 

However, there still are those who have no idea how it feels and are yet to experience it. 

Again, the purpose of meeting them is to evolve spiritually. You will also notice that together you actually have a higher purpose to achieve. You will feel a very intense sense of expansion and that you will do this expansion together with your twin flame. 

The interesting thing is that it is not necessary for them to be your lovers, they can be friends or family, or even just someone you’ve known at one point, but have distanced themselves from you. 

If you’ve done learning your lessons they might not even come back in this lifetime. 

If there still are some lessons left, they might circle back after a while. And because at a soul level you understand that you need them, even if the breakup wasn’t nice, you will still accept them back in your life. Because your soul feels drawn to them, as it is always looking to expand and evolve. 

Why do we have a twin flame

The role of a twin flame is to connect with us and help us grow spiritually, to the next level. 

The meeting and the relationship with your twin flame will change not just your life, but theirs as well. None of your lives will ever be the same again. And the changes will be quite dramatic. 

Now I don’t want to scare you as this change will be a positive one. Even if you might have to go through a rougher patch at one point or another. 

Sometimes we need some challenges in order to be able to learn our lessons and be able to move on to the next level spiritually. 

So even if there might be some ‘not so great’ situations that involve our twin flame, the outcome and the overall relationship will be a positive one. 

They have come into our lives to challenge us to grow, unlike soul mates who have more of a supportive role. 

They are a reflection of us. 

Although they are polar opposites when it comes to childhood experiences, they have also had very similar experiences to yours, but they have learnt something else and dealt with those differently. 

They teach you from their experiences and you teach them from yours. This way you both get to evolve to higher levels spiritually. 

How to call on your twin flame?

There are a few things that you can do to call on your twin flame. 

However, be aware that if you haven’t met them yet, they will cause a bit of havoc in your life before things get better. 

Change is uncomfortable because it is taking us beyond our comfort zone. 

The best way to call on your twin flame is to enter a deep meditative state. You can do this either at home or somewhere in nature where you won’t be disturbed. 

Meditating in nature can help us by elevating our energies easier as we borrow it from our surroundings. 

Once you’ve entered a deep meditative state, you should visualize a silver cord that starts from your chest, the heard chakra area and it goes out towards your twin flame. 

Many spiritual practitioners claim that we are tied to our twin flame with this invisible silver cord and will always keep us connected to them. 

Once you have visualized the silver cord, start sending them your message. 

What happens is that your twin flame will react to that feeling of someone calling them and they will start moving towards you. 

For them it will be like a subtle craving of finding someone. And sometimes this might not even be conscious. Just a ‘gut feeling’. 

If you’ve already experienced a relationship with your twin flame, you might recognise this pulling sensation. It’s like your intuition is telling you to go somewhere or meet someone that can lead you to a place, where you end up meeting your twin flame. 

Do we have just one twin flame?

According to theoreticians in the field, YES. 

We only have one twin flame throughout our lives. 

However this embodiment of our twin flame can come and go multiple times in and out of our lives. 

And the intensity that we’re attracted to them is the same every time. 

Although everyone has a twin flame, that doesn’t mean that everyone gets to meet with them and actually go through the relationship that helps them evolve. 

Some people’s egos are too strong and are not allowing any major spiritual growth. 

And even that in itself is an experience that some souls choose to experience. 

They will have other opportunities to evolve spiritually. 

Does everybody have twin flames 

Some theories say yes; however, it is not 100% certain. 

And some of us might have already experienced this in their life and some are yet to go through it. Some might not even get to meet their twin flame. 

There are some people who simply are not ready to go through an experience of meeting their twin flame and actually evolve. It does take a certain amount of spiritual maturity to be able to open up and grow the way it is meant to be done. 

Usually ego plays a big part in NOT meeting your twin flame. 

To a certain extent, the ego has its role of protecting us. However when it is too big and we put too much emphasis on our ego, it can also block us from meeting our twin flame as it is blocking us from evolving and letting go of our ego. 

How do you know if you’ve met your twin flame?

There are many ways to know if you’ve met your twin flame. 

These are just some of the main and easier to recognise signs: 

  1. You’ve just met someone and felt super connected to the.
  1. They have quite a similar energy type to yours 
  1. Although you share some of the same values, you are quite opposite and complementary in the ones that you don’t share 
  1. Childhoods are usually quite opposite, although they have also gone through similar experiences. They just dealt with them differently and learned different lessons from it. 
  1. They don’t try to change you. They know at a soul level that you will change and evolve by yourself.
  1. You feel a sense of recognising them – like having known them before, a feeling of home.

Different Stages of the twin flame relationship 

Apparently, there are 8 main stages to this relationship: 

1. The desire and need to meet them. 

Usually during this stage your soul will prepare by learning some lessons on its own and doing self-development work helps with that. 

It’s like how you prepare to welcome guests that will stay a while at your house, only spiritual work, instead of actual physical work. 

This is a good time to ‘clean your house’ and clear out some of the blockages and trauma that you might still hold onto. 

These are like sand weights in a hot air balloon. They keep you down and don’t let you soar towards greater heights. 

2. Getting glimpses of your twin flame. 

This might be anything from a dream that gives you the certainty that they’re on their way, or a strong sensation. 

To continue the ‘guest’ analogy, it’s like when you get the confirmation that your guests are on their way. You know for sure that they are coming. There’s no denying that. 

You might even meet them briefly in real life and just get acquainted with them. 

Once you feel that intense pull towards them, you will understand that they are the twin flame you craved for. 

3. The falling in love stage

During this stage, experts on the matter say that it is more intense than falling in love with your soul mate. 

I’ve explained it above how twin flames are different from soulmates and they both have different roles in our lives. 

It is more intense than anything you could imagine. And the more you get to know them the more in love you will be with them. 

And this feeling of intense infatuation, is one of the biggest tell signs that you have indeed met your twin flame. 

4. The relationship phase

Remember what I’ve said before: that a twin flame doesn’t necessarily need to be a lover. They can also be family or friends, or even just someone you know for a while and then they leave. 

This period will feel magical, unlike anything you’ve experienced before. 

5. The Peak 

During this time, issues will start to arise in our initial ‘paradise’. 

In the 3rd and 4th stages we put our twin flame up on a pedestal and thought that they’re the best ever, the most clever, the ‘creme de la creme’. Everything we ever imagined and more. 

However, as the initial intensity mellows down a little, we start seeing all the differences between us. 

Although these were what attracted us to them in the first place. 

This is the stage where arguments might arise and disappointment. And all sorts of negative emotions. 

All of this is happening because our ego is sensing that change is about to happen, and it doesn’t like it. 

All the lessons we have to learn from this experience with our twin flame, are meant to diminish our egos and help our souls evolve further. 

Hence why our ego tries to fight back and keep us where we are, because that’s where the ego lives. It doesn’t want to let go. 

As our twin flame is a mirror of us, we will notice all the differences and the opposites we have with them.

6. The Chaser and The Runner 

It is quite interesting that this is how many experts in the field have named the 2 main roles during this stage. 

This is the stage that will determine the fate of this relationship. 

As emotions and tension builds and the ego is fighting for its life, some people might not be able to take the intensity and will try to run away, hence the name ‘Runner. 

And usually the other person will be the ‘Chaser’. And this means that they are the ones who know that things haven’t been solved just yet and are trying to hold the relationship together. They are trying to make it work, and sort things out. 

This is the stage where some relationships rupture for good. And the two twin flames will not meet again in this lifetime. Or in a few lifetimes because they were not willing to change and evolve. And shed the ego that is not serving them anymore. 

However, if you are willing to learn your lessons, like true gratitude, love, patience, and such, this stage will only lead to strengthening the relationship. 

7. The surrender 

If the permanent rupture hasn’t happened, during this stage you both start to heal from the turmoil that happened during the previous stage. 

You start working through your differences and learning how to do it, without tearing each other apart. 

If you’re reached this stage it means that your ego has taken a step back and allowed you to learn the lessons you were meant to learn. 

8. Oneness 

The more you work through your issues and your twin flame does the same, you will enter smoother waters. 

You will start feeling that intense connection again and you will actually feel what your higher purpose is to be achieved together. 

Now that you’ve started learning ‘how to play together’, you can start building ‘a castle’ together. 


I hope that this article has answered your question of what a twin flame is. It certainly has answered mine. 

A few things to keep in mind are that we all have a twin flame. But not all of us will meet them in this lifetime. 

The meeting, should it happen, will be very intense. And the pull towards them will be like a super strong magnet. 

Our twin flames don’t necessarily have to be our lovers. They can be family or friends even. 

There are ways you can call on your twin flame by using the silver cord meditation. 

Before you decide to call on your twin flame, make sure you are ready for it. 

As it can get a bit worse, before it gets better. 

But if you go through all the 8 stages of a relationship with your twin flame, it means that you have done some serious soul work and have evolved exponentially. 


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