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Cupioromantic: Are You One? Understanding and Navigating Unique Relationship Dynamics

In today’s ever-expanding lexicon of romantic identities, “cupioromantic” is a term that might not be familiar to everyone. 

It’s a unique orientation that shapes how individuals experience love and desire. 

If you’re exploring nuanced aspects of relationships, this article will help you understand whether you might be cupioromantic, signs to look for, and how this affects relationships.

Cupioromantic Meaning & Is it Curable?

First things first: being cupioromantic is not a condition that needs curing. 

A cupioromantic individual does not experience romantic attraction to others, but they still desire a romantic relationship. 

It’s important to acknowledge and respect this identity as a valid orientation rather than viewing it as something that needs to be “fixed.”

Cupioromantics might not feel romantic attraction in the way it is traditionally understood, yet they value and seek out the emotional closeness, commitment, and intimacy that come with romantic partnerships.

This orientation is part of the broader spectrum of aromantic identities, where individuals vary in their romantic attraction and relationship preferences. 

It’s crucial to emphasize that being cupioromantic is not a disease or a disorder!

It’s a sexual orientation. 

Thus, the question of it being “curable” doesn’t apply and is inappropriate. 

Instead, understanding and acceptance are needed.

People might wonder if therapy or medication could change this orientation, but just as with other LGBTQ+ identities, being cupioromantic is an inherent aspect of an individual’s identity. 

Efforts to change someone’s romantic orientation, whether through therapy or other means, are not only ineffective but also ethically wrong. Acceptance and support are what truly matter.

Being cupioromantic can come with its own set of challenges, primarily because there is still a lot of misunderstanding and lack of visibility about this orientation. 

People might face misconceptions or disbelief about their capacity for relationships. 

Education and dialogue can help bridge this gap, helping more people understand that just like any other orientation, cupioromantic individuals have a unique but equally legitimate way of experiencing love and desire.

How Does Someone Get to be Cupioromantic?

Cupioromantic isn’t something someone “gets” to be. 

It’s a part of who they are. 

Like other orientations, being cupioromantic can be a core aspect of an individual’s identity from early on or something they come to understand about themselves over time. 

It’s not a choice or a result of external factors.

Iit’s simply another way of experiencing the world.

Cupioromantic people often discover this about themselves in the same ways others might come to understand their sexual or romantic orientations: through self-reflection, experiences in relationships, and learning about different identities. 

For some, the realization may come after noticing a disconnect between their desire for romantic relationships and the absence of romantic attraction to others. 

This can be confusing, especially in a society that often doesn’t provide language or visibility for such experiences.

It’s also important to note that there isn’t a single pathway or factor that leads someone to identify as cupioromantic. 

It’s not caused by past experiences or external influences.

Rather, it’s a natural variation of human experience. 

This identity can be better understood through the lens of the aromantic spectrum, where individuals might experience varying degrees and types of romantic attraction, or none at all.

The journey to identifying as cupioromantic is deeply personal and varies widely. 

Some might identify with the term after learning about it in communities or literature that discuss different romantic orientations. 

Others might come to the identification after years of feeling out of place with the conventional expectations of romantic relationships. 

What’s crucial is the support and acceptance from friends, family, and society, allowing cupioromantic individuals to live authentically and comfortably with their identity.

Signs You’re Cupioromantic

Identifying as cupioromantic often involves introspection and observation of one’s feelings and behaviors in romantic contexts. 

Here are some additional signs that might indicate you are cupioromantic:

  1. Lack of Crushes: You might notice that you rarely, if ever, develop crushes on people in the way that your friends describe. 

You don’t experience feelings of romantic attraction towards individuals, regardless of how much you like or are close to them.

  1. Desire for Romance: Despite not having romantic feelings, you have a strong desire to engage in romantic activities like dating, cuddling, or sharing deep emotional connections. 

You may envision a romantic relationship as part of your future.

  1. Enjoyment of Romantic Content: You enjoy watching romantic movies or reading romance novels and feel an affinity for the relationships depicted. 

Even though you don’t experience those feelings yourself.

  1. Value Emotional Connections: You place a high value on deep emotional connections.

And may seek these through friendships or platonic partnerships that carry a level of intimacy and commitment often reserved for romantic relationships.

  1. Confusion Over Romantic Norms: You might feel out of place or confused by how others describe their romantic attractions. 

You can appreciate the idea of romance but don’t connect with the feeling when directed towards someone specific.

  1. Interest in Relationship Structures: You may find yourself exploring different types of relationship structures, like ethical non-monogamy or queerplatonic relationships, that do not require romantic attraction but fulfill your desire for intimacy and partnership.

Recognizing these signs can help cupioromantic individuals understand their unique perspective on relationships and find ways to articulate and explore their needs within the context of their orientation. 

It’s also essential for building a supportive network that acknowledges and respects their identity without imposing traditional expectations of romance and attraction.

Can a Cupioromantic Person Have a Relationship and or Get Married?


Being cupioromantic doesn’t mean you can’t have fulfilling relationships. 

Many cupioromantic individuals enter into relationships that fulfill their desire for romantic companionship. 

These relationships can be just as deep and meaningful as those experienced by people who feel romantic attraction. 

Additionally, cupioromantic people may find that ENM relationships allow them to structure a relationship that feels right for them, sometimes involving partners who understand and share similar orientations or relationship expectations.

Here’s how cupioromantic relationships might look:

  1. Committed Partnerships

Cupioromantic people often seek out and thrive in committed partnerships. 

These relationships are built on foundations of trust, shared interests, and emotional intimacy. 

Marriage, for many cupioromantic individuals, is a celebration of these bonds and a formal acknowledgment of their commitment.

  1. Alternative Relationship Agreements

Since traditional romantic cues are not the driving force for these individuals, cupioromantic people may form relationships that defy conventional norms. 

This might include agreements on physical intimacy, living arrangements, or how to handle societal expectations. 

For instance, some might prioritize cohabitation and shared life goals over physical or romantic intimacy.

  1. Open or Polyamorous Relationships

Engaging in ethical non-monogamy (ENM) can be a suitable choice for some cupioromantic individuals. 

These ENM relationships allow them to explore different aspects of intimacy and connection without the expectation of romantic attraction. 

It can provide a framework where emotional needs are met in various ways by different partners.

  1. Queerplatonic Relationships

Some cupioromantic people might choose to form queerplatonic relationships, which are deeply committed and emotionally intimate but not romantic in the traditional sense. 

These relationships can include cohabitation, life partnership, and all other aspects typically associated with a romantic relationship, minus the romantic attraction.

  1. Communication and Negotiation

Open communication is crucial in any relationship, but particularly so in relationships involving cupioromantic individuals. 

Discussing needs, expectations, and boundaries openly can help ensure that all parties feel understood and valued. 

This communication is key to navigating the unique dynamics of relationships that do not center on romantic attraction.

For cupioromantic individuals, having a relationship or getting married is less about fitting into a traditional mold. And more about creating a partnership that aligns with their desires and values. 

With honesty and creativity, cupioromantic people can build relationships that are just as fulfilling and enduring as those based on romantic love.

How to Tell Someone if You’re Cupioromantic?

Communicating your cupioromantic identity can be daunting but important. 

Here are some tips:

Be honest and direct about what being cupioromantic means to you.

Explain your desires for a relationship and what you might need from your partner.

Ensure they understand that this is about your feelings and not a reflection on your feelings towards them.

Open communication is key in any relationship but especially crucial when explaining nuanced identities like cupioromantic.

Choose the Right Moment!

Look for a quiet, private time when you can have an uninterrupted conversation. 

This is especially important if you are sharing this with a potential or current partner, as it deserves both parties’ full attention.

Use Clear and Simple Language!

Explain what being cupioromantic means in straightforward terms. 

You might say something like, “I identify as cupioromantic, which means I don’t experience romantic attraction in the way most people do, but I still desire romantic relationships.”

Describe What Your Orientation Means for the Relationship! 

Be clear about what you seek in a relationship and how your orientation impacts your expectations and interactions. 

For example, you might explain that while you value deep emotional connections, traditional expressions of romance might not come naturally to you.

Discuss Your Feelings and Desires

Share your feelings honestly.

What you value, what you hope for in a relationship, and what kinds of connections make you feel fulfilled. 

This might include discussing your interest in things like companionship, shared interests, emotional intimacy, or even your thoughts on ethical non-monogamy.

Reassure Your Partner or Friend

Make sure they understand that your cupioromantic orientation isn’t a reflection on them or your feelings towards them. 

It’s about how you experience attraction and connection.

Give Them Time and Space to Process

This might be new information for the person you’re talking to, and they might need time to understand and process what this means. 

Be patient and open to answering questions they may have.

Offer Resources

Sometimes, providing articles, books, or links to online communities discussing aromantic spectrum orientations can help others understand your perspective better. And also learn more about cupioromantic experiences.

Establish Open Communication

Encourage ongoing dialogue. 

Let them know that you are open to discussing this further whenever they might have questions or thoughts in the future.

By handling the conversation with care and clarity, you can help ensure that your cupioromantic identity is understood and respected. 

This not only helps in setting the right expectations but also strengthens the trust and bond in your relationships.


Being cupioromantic is a unique identity that comes with its own set of experiences and challenges. 

Whether you’re exploring the possibility of being cupioromantic yourself or are just curious about different romantic orientations, understanding this identity can enrich your perspective on relationships. 

Remember, every cupioromantic experience is valid, and finding a path that feels right for you. Whether it involves marriage, ethical non-monogamy, or something else, is entirely possible.

Want to spice up your relationship and keep the communication flowing? 

Try the Better Topics Card Game. It’s a fun, light-hearted way to deepen your connection with your partner. 

You’ll laugh, you might cry, but most importantly, you’ll learn more about each other.

Whether you’re cupioromantic or just curious about different ways of loving, remember to stay true to yourself. 

Keep the dialogue open, whether with cards, conversations, or cuddles. 

After all, every relationship is about finding joy in the journey together.


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