Let’s face it: learning how to get over someone is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the manual.
Frustrating, tear-filled, and occasionally involving a dramatic throw of a pillow.
But don’t worry, you’re not doomed to replay sad songs in the dark forever.
Let’s dive into the messy, weird, and sometimes hilarious process of moving on.
Heartbreak: Your Brain’s Cruel Science Experiment
Did you know that heartbreak feels like physical pain?
Yup, your brain lights up like you stubbed your toe on a coffee table.
That’s why it hurts so much, and no, it’s not just because you feel like your ex was the one.
Think of heartbreak as withdrawal.
Your brain’s addicted to the dopamine hit of your ex.
Every text, hug, and shared meme gave you a little “happy brain chemical” boost.
Now that they’re gone, your brain’s throwing a tantrum, screaming, “Where’s my dopamine, Karen?”
But it gets worse.
Your brain loves patterns, and now it’s stuck replaying your greatest hits with them.
Like that time they made you laugh so hard you snorted, or when they held your hand during a scary movie.
Your brain conveniently skips the lowlights, like that fight over who ate the last slice of pizza.
Oh, and let’s not forget cortisol, the stress hormone that’s now partying in your body like it’s 1999.
That’s why you feel anxious, restless, and like you’ve just run a marathon when all you did was scroll through old text messages.
Here’s the kicker: heartbreak literally slows your brain down.
Studies show it affects your cognitive functions, so if you’re forgetting your keys or zoning out mid-conversation, you’re not losing your mind. It’s heartbreak turning your brain into soup.
But don’t panic, this is temporary.
Your brain is incredibly resilient.
Eventually, it’ll stop screaming for your ex and start focusing on things that actually matter.
Like remembering where you parked or finishing that book you started six months ago.
Hang in there… the brain fog will lift!
Step Away from the Stalker Apps
We’ve all done it.
You’re “just checking” if they’ve posted a new story.
And oh look, they’re at brunch.
With someone.
Stop! Right! Now!
Delete or mute their socials.
Trust me, your sanity depends on it.
Stalking their new life won’t help you move on.
In fact, it’s like pouring salt into your heartbreak wound, and then asking for more salt.
Here’s the thing they don’t tell you: every time you peek, you’re reinforcing the habit.
Your brain’s like, “Ooh, a hit of pain and drama, don’t mind if I do!”
You’re literally training yourself to keep obsessing.
Don’t give it the satisfaction.
And no, asking your friends to “casually check” for you isn’t better.
It’s just outsourcing the drama.
Plus, do you really need to know that their new haircut looks like it was done by a weed whacker? (Okay, maybe you do. But still, don’t.)
Instead, replace the doom scroll with something that sparks joy, or at least makes you laugh.
Follow accounts that post dogs in hats, weird historical facts, or anything that doesn’t involve your ex.
Bonus: It’ll confuse the algorithm and stop showing you ads for couples’ getaways.
Pro tip: Block them if you’re feeling bold.
It’s not petty.
I’s self-preservation!
And don’t forget to block their friends too, your nosy self doesn’t need backdoor access to their life.
Out of sight, out of mind, and onto better things.
Like finding out how long it takes to beat your high score in Tetris.
Also, remember this golden rule: If you have to debate whether you should click on their profile, the answer is always no.
Trust me, your mental health will thank you.
Replace Them with Hobbies (and No, Netflix Doesn’t Count)
Here’s the thing: sitting at home bingeing “sad girl TV” won’t cut it.
Sure, a weekend wrapped in a blanket fort with ice cream and rom-coms is fine.
But after that? It’s time to get up and do something.
Enter hobbies: your secret weapon for rediscovering joy and distracting your brain from rehashing every detail of your breakup.
Start with something completely random.
Pottery?
Amazing.
There’s nothing like molding a blob of clay into… another blob of clay.
And if it collapses, you can channel your frustration and call it “abstract art.”
Therapeutic, right?
Feeling bold?
Try axe throwing.
It’s the perfect mix of adrenaline and catharsis.
Every time you hear the satisfying thunk of an axe hitting the target, imagine you’re hitting all those “What went wrong?” thoughts right out of your head.
For something lighter, go for salsa dancing.
It’s fun, flirty, and keeps your brain too busy with steps to dwell on your ex.
Bonus: it’s also a sneaky confidence booster.
Who has time to cry when you’re mastering a killer spin?
If you’re more of a homebody, dive into niche hobbies.
Ever tried bread-making?
Not only do you get to punch dough (anger management, anyone?), but you also end up with carbs.
Win-win.
Or take up origami, it’s oddly satisfying and gives you something tangible to show off.
The goal is simple: replace the space your ex occupied with something that sparks curiosity.
It doesn’t have to be “productive” in the traditional sense.
It just needs to be yours.
When you pour your energy into something new, you’re telling your brain, “Hey, there’s life beyond crying over them.”
And here’s the kicker: hobbies can lead to unexpected perks.
New friends.
New skills.
Maybe even a new love interest (hello, cute salsa partner).
But most importantly, they remind you of what matters: you.
So go ahead, pick something weird and wonderful.
Who knows?
You might just stumble upon your next big passion.
Cry Like a Pro
Crying gets a bad rap.
People think it’s all about soggy tissues and puffy eyes.
But here’s the truth: crying is basically an emotional detox.
It’s your body’s way of saying, “Let’s flush out all this sadness and make room for the next chapter.”
But don’t just cry anywhere.
Make it intentional.
Think of it as a performance art piece starring you.
Cry in the shower: it’s got all the drama of a music video, minus the cleanup.
Or cry in your car.
Bonus points if it’s raining and you’re at a stoplight. (Add a sad playlist for peak cinematic vibes.)
Here’s an underrated tip: schedule your crying sessions.
Sounds weird, right?
But it works.
Set aside 15 minutes to ugly cry your heart out.
Let it all out: the sniffles, the sobs, the unintelligible “whyyyyy?”
When the timer’s up, dry your tears and move on with your day.
It’s like emotional interval training.
If you’re feeling extra, level up your crying game with props.
Write a breakup letter and burn it.
Scream into a pillow.
Rip up old photos (just avoid making confetti… cleaning that up will not be therapeutic).
And for a real MVP move?
Use waterproof mascara.
There’s nothing more satisfying than looking semi-put-together after a crying marathon.
Also, don’t cry alone if you don’t want to.
Call a friend.
Chances are, they’ve got snacks, a shoulder to cry on, and a bad joke or two to lighten the mood.
Sometimes, crying with company makes it feel less like a breakdown and more like a bonding experience.
Oh, and let’s debunk the biggest myth: crying isn’t a sign of weakness.
It’s actually a superpower.
You’re literally releasing stress hormones and calming your nervous system.
So every tear is doing double duty, cleaning your face and your soul.
Cry like a pro, then rise like a queen.
How Long Does It Take to Get Over Someone?
Ah, the question everyone Googles at 2 a.m.: how long does it take to get over someone?
The short answer?
It depends.
The long answer?
Buckle up, because it’s complicated.
On average, research says it can take three months to a year.
But let’s be real, there’s no one-size-fits-all heartbreak timeline.
It depends on the relationship, how invested you were, and whether they left you for someone with better hair.
Here’s what they don’t tell you: it’s not a linear process.
Some days you’ll feel like a boss, ready to conquer the world.
Other days, you’ll see a random sock in your laundry and spiral into a 20-minute sob fest. It’s called progress, and it’s messy.
Now, let’s add some perspective. If your relationship lasted three months, you probably don’t need a year to get over it.
But if you were together for years and shared a pet, well, that’s a whole different ballgame.
It’s okay to take your time.
Healing isn’t a race, it’s more like a slow crawl through emotional quicksand.
Also, the kind of breakup matters.
Did they ghost you?
That might sting longer because of the lack of closure.
Did you part ways amicably?
You might heal faster but still feel pangs of nostalgia when “your song” comes on shuffle. (Thanks for nothing, Spotify.)
And let’s not forget: the process speeds up if you put in the work.
Deleting their photos, setting boundaries, and picking up hobbies?
That’s emotional cardio, and it pays off.
Sitting around and hoping time magically heals you?
Not so much.
Time helps, but action is what really moves the needle.
So how long does it take to get over someone?
The honest answer is: as long as it takes for you to feel like yourself again.
And that’s okay.
Healing isn’t about forgetting them completely, it’s about remembering who you were before they came along.
Spoiler alert: You’re still awesome, with or without them.
Reclaim Your Identity
Here’s a wild thought: Who were you before your ex?
What did you love?
What made you laugh until your sides hurt?
Now’s the time to remember, and maybe even reinvent, you.
Start small.
Dust off that old playlist you loved before they came along and let it transport you to happier times.
Revisit hobbies you might have shelved because they weren’t their thing.
Did they hate hiking?
Guess what: nature’s been waiting for your triumphant return.
This is also the perfect time to try something bold.
Dye your hair a wild color (but seriously, think twice about bangs).
Change up your style.
You don’t need a reason, just do it because you can.
Your post-breakup vibe is about embracing freedom, not seeking approval.
Go deeper, too.
Take this opportunity to evaluate what you actually want in life.
What are your goals, dreams, and bucket-list items?
Want to learn Italian?
Start a blog?
Build a Lego Millennium Falcon just because?
Do it.
When you focus on personal growth, you naturally shift the narrative from “I lost them” to “I’m finding myself.”
And don’t sleep on the power of solo adventures.
Travel somewhere new, even if it’s just a nearby town you’ve never explored.
Take yourself out to dinner or a movie.
At first, it might feel awkward, but soon you’ll realize how empowering it is to enjoy your own company. (Pro tip: Bring a book for backup.)
Reconnect with your people, too.
Remember those friends and family you might have unintentionally sidelined during your relationship?
Call them, meet up, and rebuild those connections.
They’re the ultimate hype squad for your glow-up journey.
The best part of reclaiming your identity?
You don’t have to have it all figured out right away.
This is your chance to experiment, grow, and thrive.
So try new things, laugh at your mistakes, and own your quirks.
The goal isn’t to become a “new you”, it’s to rediscover the parts of you that were always awesome. Welcome back, rockstar. You’ve been missed.
Conclusion
Getting over someone is tough, but it’s also a chance to grow, rediscover yourself, and prepare for even better connections in the future.
Whether you’ve cried it out, thrown an axe (safely), or reclaimed your identity, remember, you’re stronger than you think, and life has so much more to offer.
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