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How Do You Know If You Love Someone?

How do you know if you love someone? 

It’s like trying to decide if pineapple belongs on pizza, confusing and subjective. 

Love doesn’t come with flashing neon signs. 

Sometimes, it’s just a subtle, nagging feeling that grows. 

But don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. 

Let’s figure this out together, one laughable, awkward truth at a time.

The Obvious Signs Everyone Talks About (But Are They Real?)

Let’s start with the classics: You think about them all the time. 

You miss them when they’re gone. 

Your heart skips a beat when you see them. 

Sounds like love, right? 

Well, maybe. 

Or maybe it’s just a crush that your brain is blowing out of proportion.

Here’s the thing: Thinking about them all the time might not mean much if you also can’t stop thinking about your favorite snack or the cute dog you saw yesterday. 

Love isn’t about obsessive thoughts, it’s about meaningful ones. 

Are you replaying their jokes because they’re funny, or because your brain is just bored and latching onto something? 

Be honest!

What about missing them when they’re gone? 

Sure, absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it can also just make you lonely. 

Ask yourself: Do you miss their presence or just having someone around to text memes to? 

If their absence feels like a missing puzzle piece instead of just a quiet phone, it’s a good sign it’s more than infatuation.

Now, let’s tackle the heart-skipping-a-beat cliché. 

That fluttery feeling is fun, but let’s not confuse it with love. 

Butterflies can be caused by anything—nerves, excitement, or a poorly-timed coffee. 

Real love is what happens when the butterflies settle, and you still feel a warm, steady affection for them.

Here’s an underrated sign no one talks about: You care about what they’re up to, even when it’s boring. 

Do you actually want to hear about their endless meetings or their latest rant about grocery store lines? 

If the answer is yes, that’s a stronger indicator of love than any movie-worthy heart race.

Finally, don’t underestimate the importance of comfort. 

Everyone talks about fireworks and sparks, but true love feels more like your favorite pair of sweatpants, cozy, secure, and a little stretchy for the tough times. 

If they make you feel at home, even when you’re sitting in silence, that’s the kind of sign that really matters.

So, are these obvious signs reliable? 

Sometimes. 

But love isn’t just about excitement, it’s about finding joy in the ordinary and connection in the quiet moments.

The Unexpected Signs You Might Actually Be in Love

Love doesn’t always arrive with dramatic declarations or epic moments. 

Sometimes, it sneaks up on you in the strangest, most unexpected ways. If these sound familiar, you might just be falling for someone.

1. You start picking up their quirks.

You notice you’ve started saying their catchphrases or mimicking the way they laugh without realizing it. 

Suddenly, you’re calling everything “iconic” because they do, or you’ve started adding hot sauce to everything even though your taste buds are crying. 

This subconscious “mirroring” is a sign that you’re connected on a deeper level.

2. You want to share even the smallest details with them.

You see a funny TikTok? 

They’re the first person you think to send it to. 

Find a weird-shaped potato at the store? 

You snap a picture and text it to them. 

Love makes even the mundane feel worth sharing.

3. Their presence feels like a reset button.

Bad day? 

Annoying coworkers? 

One conversation or even a hug from them makes everything seem less overwhelming. 

Their energy feels like a calming force, like emotional aloe vera.

4. You care about their weird, boring interests.

Maybe you’ve never cared about stamp collecting, 18th-century architecture, or obscure indie bands before. 

But now, you’re nodding along enthusiastically and even Googling “how to appreciate vintage train models.” 

Their happiness matters so much that you’re curious about what lights them up, even if it’s super niche.

5. Their flaws don’t scare you.

You’ve seen their messy side, their bad habits, insecurities, and embarrassing moments. 

And instead of being turned off, you find those imperfections make them even more lovable. 

Like, who knew their weird habit of talking to their plants could be so endearing?

6. You’re willing to compromise.

Suddenly, you’re watching a genre of movies you swore you’d never watch (looking at you, rom-com fans watching sci-fi) because it makes them happy. 

Love means finding joy in their joy, even if it means adjusting your preferences now and then.

7. Their pain feels personal.

If they’re sad or stressed, it’s like you feel it in your bones. 

You’re not just empathetic.

You’re fully invested in helping them feel better, whether it’s through advice, comfort, or just showing up with snacks and hugs.

8. You find joy in doing things for them.

Whether it’s cooking their favorite meal, folding their laundry, or picking up their favorite candy bar at the store, these little acts of service feel more like fun than obligation. 

It’s not about grand gestures, it’s about wanting to make their life better in small ways.

9. You imagine a life together, even in boring scenarios.

Your daydreams aren’t just about romantic vacations or dramatic proposals. 

You find yourself picturing quiet Sunday mornings, grocery shopping, or figuring out whose turn it is to take out the trash. 

When the ordinary feels exciting with them, it’s a good sign.

10. They make you laugh, even when you’re mad.

You’re fuming over something they did, but somehow, they manage to make you laugh anyway. 

If someone can break through your irritation with humor, they’ve probably got your heart.

11. You feel protective of them.

It’s not just physical protection, it’s emotional, too. 

You want to shield them from unnecessary stress, rude comments, or anything that might hurt them. 

Their well-being is important to you in a way that feels natural and instinctive.

12. You’re willing to be vulnerable.

They’ve seen you ugly cry, complain about ridiculous things, or show up in pajamas with unbrushed hair, and you’re okay with it. 

Love is about letting your guard down and knowing they’ll still be there.

Love doesn’t always come with a Hollywood-style grand reveal. 

Sometimes, it’s these small, unexpected signs that quietly remind you: this person has become an essential part of your life. 

If you’re nodding along to these, congratulations, you might just be in love!

The Real Test: Do You Still Like Them When They’re Annoying?

Here’s the real love litmus test: How do you feel when they’re at their most annoying? 

When they leave crumbs on the counter again, or they forget to replace the toilet paper for the third time this week, do you want to scream, or laugh? 

If you find yourself grumbling but still reaching for the spare roll without a second thought, you might just be in love.

Annoyance is inevitable in any relationship. 

Love doesn’t mean ignoring their quirks, it means tolerating them with a weird combination of affection and mild exasperation. 

For example, do you roll your eyes at their terrible singing, but secretly look forward to their off-key renditions of your favorite songs? 

That’s love. 

Or do you groan when they insist on re-explaining the entire plot of a movie you’ve already seen, but still listen because their excitement is kind of cute? 

Yep, that’s love too.

Here’s a sneaky test: When they annoy you, do you fantasize about life without them, or do you just wish they’d take a nap? 

If it’s the latter, congrats, you’re hooked. 

True love isn’t about liking every single thing they do.

It’s about choosing them even when they drive you crazy.

Love also shows up when you’re willing to work through their less-than-ideal habits instead of letting resentment fester. 

Maybe you remind them to turn off the lights for the 900th time because you know they’ll forget. 

Or you patiently explain why dirty dishes do not belong in the sink for days. 

If you’re putting in the effort without keeping score, that’s a big sign it’s love.

And then there’s the weird shift where their annoying quirks stop being just annoying and start being endearing. 

Their loud chewing becomes part of who they are. 

The way they insist on telling dad jokes at the worst possible moment? 

It makes you roll your eyes and laugh at the same time. 

It’s love when even their flaws become part of the reason you care so deeply.

The ultimate question: Do you still like them after the arguments, the irritating habits, and the long days when they’ve just been “too much”? 

If the answer is yes, and you still want to snuggle up next to them at the end of it all, you’ve passed the real test. 

Love isn’t perfect, but it’s about sticking around, even when they’re on your last nerve.

How to Know if It’s Not Love

Not everything that feels intense is love. 

Sometimes, it’s just infatuation, routine, or convenience dressed up as romance. 

To figure out the difference, it’s important to recognize the signs that point to something other than true love.

For starters, you might find yourself more in love with the idea of the person than with who they really are. 

If you’re constantly imagining how they’d be “perfect” if they just changed this or improved that, it’s a sign you’re chasing potential rather than reality. 

Love doesn’t try to mold someone into a fantasy.

It accepts them for who they truly are.

Another red flag is when your feelings seem to rely entirely on how much attention they give you. 

If your happiness depends on their compliments, affection, or constant validation, it’s not love, it’s a craving to fill a void. 

Real love sustains itself, even when they’re busy or not immediately available.

A big indicator that it’s not love is if you’re afraid to be yourself around them. 

If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, always auditioning for their approval, that’s not the safety and comfort love brings. 

Similarly, if you find yourself mentally keeping score of who’s putting in more effort or sacrifice, the connection isn’t rooted in love, it’s a transactional relationship.

Physical chemistry, while exciting, is another area that can confuse the heart. 

Sparks and butterflies might mean attraction, but love is what remains after those initial thrills fade. 

If you can’t enjoy their company when the excitement calms, it’s a good time to reassess.

Love should lift you up, but if the relationship brings out your insecurities or makes you feel like you’re constantly not enough, it’s likely not love, it might be emotional neglect or manipulation. 

And sometimes, people stay in relationships simply because it feels familiar or safe. 

Comfort can be deceptive, especially when it holds you back from seeking something truly fulfilling.

True love inspires growth for both partners, but if the relationship feels stagnant or draining, it’s not love, it’s a burden. 

When being together leaves you feeling more exhausted than energized, it’s a clear sign of imbalance. 

Similarly, if you’re staying out of guilt or fear of hurting them rather than because you’re happy, it’s time to ask whether you’re in it for love or obligation.

Trust is another non-negotiable. 

Love without trust is shaky at best. 

If doubts about their motives or honesty dominate your thoughts, the foundation isn’t love, it’s instability. 

Love also feels safe. 

If your relationship makes you feel anxious or unsure, it’s time to take a closer look at what you’re holding onto.

Lastly, love naturally makes you think about the future together. 

If imagining a life with them feels more like a chore than a dream, or you find yourself constantly fixing the relationship while they put in no effort, it’s not love, it’s exhaustion. 

And if the thought of leaving terrifies you more than staying does, it might just be fear of being alone rather than true affection.

Recognizing what isn’t love is as important as recognizing what is. 

Love isn’t about drama, constant compromise of self-worth, or settling for less. 

It should make you feel safe, uplifted, and excited to grow together. 

If your relationship doesn’t do that, it’s time to ask yourself: Is this love, or just a placeholder?

Conclusion

Love can be tricky to navigate. 

Whether you’re figuring out if it’s love or realizing it’s not, communication is the key to clarity. 

Honest, open conversations can help you build stronger bonds and uncover what truly matters in your relationship.

That’s where the Better Topics Card Game for Couples comes in. 

This game isn’t just fun, it’s a tool to improve communication, spark meaningful conversations, and keep the playful spark alive in your relationship. 

With repeatable questions, you can replay it endlessly, discovering new insights about each other every time you play. 

It’s the perfect way to stay curious, connected, and closer than ever.

So, why wait? 

Grab a deck of Better Topics, sit down with your significant other, and let the conversations flow.

Whether you’re just starting out or years into your journey together, this game can bring you closer, strengthen your bond, and make love even more rewarding. 

Try it!

You’ll thank me later!

BetterTopics

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