When Cupid Misses (Big Time)
Let’s be real, unrequited love is like waiting for a bus that’s never coming, but you just keep standing there, optimistic, like you’re in some sort of emotional purgatory.
It’s that magical feeling where you know you’re destined to be together, but the universe (and reality) is laughing behind your back.
I mean, who hasn’t fallen for someone who doesn’t fall back?
It’s basically a rite of passage at this point. Like the first time you realized Santa Claus isn’t real or that eyeliner wings are sisters, not twins.
There was this one time—grab a snack, it’s a doozy—I was convinced the guy was secretly into me.
You know the kind, right?
He’s totally giving you signals. Or at least, you think he is. He remembered my coffee order once, so obviously, that’s love, right?
I built up this whole story in my head where he was just “too shy” to make a move. Or maybe he hadn’t yet realized we were soulmates because he was distracted by, I don’t know, life?
But then reality kicked in like an unwelcome cold shower.
Turns out, he was just nice—like, the generic kind of nice people are when they don’t want to be jerks.
Cue me waiting for a grand gesture that never came.
I spent so many hours trying to decode his texts and re-reading our conversations as if they were written by Shakespeare, only to realize…nothing. He was just being polite. Oof.
I even went through the classic phase of telling myself, “He’s just playing hard to get!”
Spoiler alert: He wasn’t!
He was just not getting it. That’s the tricky part about unrequited love—you become a professional at creating elaborate explanations for their behavior. It’s not because they aren’t into you, no, it’s because they have some deeply emotional reason for withholding their obvious affections…right?
Wrong!
And that’s how I became the emotional equivalent of Wile E. Coyote, chasing something I was never going to catch.
But hey, we’ve all been there, standing on the edge of a cliff, hoping the road runner will circle back. Spoiler: it never does.
So, what do you do when Cupid’s arrow flies right by and you’re left standing there like the last kid picked for dodgeball?
You learn to laugh about it. Because if we’re going to go through this cringe-worthy emotional marathon, we might as well find some humor in it.
The Hollywood Myth: No One’s Running After You in the Rain
Okay, here’s the thing—Hollywood really sets us up for disappointment when it comes to love, especially unrequited love.
You know those scenes where the girl dramatically runs away in the rain, and the guy suddenly has this life-altering realization and chases after her like his life depends on it?
They embrace, drenched but oblivious to the pneumonia they’re about to catch, and bam—all their problems are magically solved.
Ugh, don’t even get me started!
I mean, when was the last time anyone actually ran after you in the rain, aside from your dog?
Exactly!
Here’s the real-life version: you get caught in the rain because you stayed too long at that coffee shop hoping he might casually swing by, and instead of a grand romantic gesture, you just end up soaked, shivering, and looking like a drowned rat.
And guess what?
No one’s coming to whisk you away in their arms. You’re just cold, wet, and slightly embarrassed that you even thought this might turn into your personal rom-com moment.
And don’t get me started on the “we’re-just-friends-but-oh-no-we’re-suddenly-making-out” trope.
I once spent months thinking that if I could just pull off the perfect witty banter, my “friend” would suddenly look at me like Hugh Grant staring at Julia Roberts in Notting Hill.
Did that happen?
Let’s just say I ended up eating ice cream alone while he actually dated someone else. Apparently, sarcasm doesn’t always equal romance.
It’s so easy to believe that unrequited love will eventually turn into some big, dramatic, Hollywood-style romance if you just wait long enough.
Because isn’t that what happens in every movie?
The guy realizes he’s been in love with you all along, sprints through the airport, confesses his undying love, and kisses you in front of gate B12. Everyone claps. Roll credits.
In reality?
Your crush doesn’t even like running, let alone sprinting through an airport for you.
Heck, half the time, they don’t even text back until three hours later with a “sorry, busy!”
Movies have a lot to answer for in the whole “waiting for love to realize its potential” department. They give us hope where there should be none.
But, honestly, wouldn’t it be nice if they added a touch of realism to those films?
Picture this: the girl storms out dramatically, but instead of chasing after her, the guy shrugs, goes back to his PS5, and later texts her, “you okay?” She sees the text three hours later, but she’s already in bed with her cat, binging The Great British Bake Off and deciding she’s so over him.
Now that I would watch!
At some point, we’ve all stood in the metaphorical rain, waiting for our grand, movie-moment redemption, but reality doesn’t work like that.
The sooner we accept that there’s no last-minute sprint through the rain to save our romance, the better.
And hey, at least we can skip the wet hair and mascara streaks. Small wins 🙂
The Pain is Real: It’s Okay to Feel Like an Emotional Dumpster Fire
Let’s just admit it: unrequited love hurts like a paper cut on the soul.
Anyone who tells you it’s “just a crush” clearly hasn’t experienced the full-body ache of pining for someone who doesn’t feel the same.
Unrequited love is like standing in front of a buffet with an empty plate, watching someone else grab everything you wanted.
And guess what?
They’re not even that hungry.
Meanwhile, you’re starving, but you’ve got to pretend like, “Oh no, I’m good! I’ll just be over here… emotionally starving.”
The pain?
Oh, it’s real, and it has layers!
You’ve got the sharp sting of rejection, but then there’s the dull ache of hope. Mainly because let’s face it, we always hold out hope for a little too long, like someone who won’t accept that they’ve been ghosted.
I once cried in the bathroom at a party (yep, a classic), convinced my mascara was waterproof (it wasn’t) after I saw him chatting with someone else. There I was, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, clutching a half-eaten cupcake and sobbing like I was auditioning for a soap opera. Peak tragicomedy.
It’s one of those experiences where your brain knows it’s irrational.
You’re fully aware this person isn’t sitting around pining for you, but your heart is on some dramatic, Shakespearean nonsense, convinced that you’re starring in a tragic love story.
You tell yourself, “I should be over this by now,” but then you hear a song that reminds you of them, and boom…cue the waterworks.
Suddenly, you’re sitting in your car, crying along to some sad Adele song, because why not? If you’re going to feel like an emotional dumpster fire, you might as well make it cinematic.
Why We Obsess Over “The One That Got Away”
Let’s be honest: “The One That Got Away” is basically a romantic ghost story.
You know they’re not around anymore, but they still haunt you at random moments, popping into your head when you least expect it.
We’ve all been there!
Obsessing over someone who, for whatever reason, wasn’t meant to be, and yet we can’t seem to let go.
And why is that?
Why do we get stuck in this mental loop where we replay every interaction, wondering what could’ve been different, as if we’re detectives trying to solve the mystery of our own heartbreak?
One reason we obsess is because unrequited love creates a perfect storm of emotional confusion.
When someone doesn’t reciprocate, our brains can’t help but overanalyze.
“Why don’t they like me?”
“What did I do wrong?”
“Could I have done something to change their mind?”
It’s like an unsolved puzzle we just have to figure out.
The thing is, when someone doesn’t return our feelings, it’s less about what we did or didn’t do and more about them. But that doesn’t stop us from thinking we could’ve somehow controlled the outcome. Because humans love to think we have more control than we actually do.
The other big reason we get so fixated on “The One That Got Away” is that they represent potential.
It’s not just about the person. It’s about what we imagine our life could’ve been like with them.
They become this shiny, idealized version of love, and we get stuck thinking, “What if?”
“What if things had gone differently?”
“What if they had chosen me?”
“What if I had said something funnier, flirtier, or more mysterious?”
This person becomes the symbol of all the “what ifs” in our love life. It’s the classic case of romantic FOMO: fear of missing out on what could have been.
And then there’s the scarcity mindset that unrequited love triggers.
We start thinking, “I’ll never find anyone like them again,” as if they’re the last person on earth who will ever get us.
When someone doesn’t want us, suddenly, they feel like the most unique, irreplaceable human to ever walk the planet.
Forget the fact that there are literally billions of people out there. This one person becomes the only one who could ever make us happy.
It’s irrational, but totally normal!
We convince ourselves that they’re special, not because of who they are, but because they rejected us.
Nothing boosts someone’s perceived value like being the person you can’t have. Suddenly, they’re like the limited-edition handbag of love—coveted and unattainable.
Let’s also talk about how we low-key romanticize the idea of “The One That Got Away.”
They become this flawless, untouchable figure in our memory.
We conveniently forget all the ways they weren’t actually perfect or compatible with us because, well, they’re gone now.
It’s so much easier to hold onto the fantasy version of them.
In my case, I had a guy who I knew wasn’t right for me (he was late to everything, never planned dates, and once referred to Netflix as “The ‘Flix”).
But after he moved on, suddenly all his flaws disappeared in my mind, and I found myself thinking, “Maybe I was too harsh… Maybe I’ll never meet anyone else like him…” Yeah, no.
Reality check: He was still the same person who once said “yolo” in 2023.
Let’s not forget that social media doesn’t help either.
If you’ve ever found yourself stalking the Instagram profile of “The One That Got Away,” you know how easy it is to keep that obsession alive.
You scroll through their pictures, seeing them live their life, all while thinking, “What if I was still a part of that?”
It’s the modern-day equivalent of driving by their house or checking their MySpace top friends list back in the day.
Now, instead of letting them fade into the background of our memory, we keep them alive in our minds with a never-ending feed of curated highlights.
Spoiler: It’s not healthy, but it happens to the best of us.
The worst part?
We get stuck in this cycle of believing they were the one—our soulmate who slipped through our fingers.
Also, we romanticize the idea that we’ll never have that kind of connection again, even though, in most cases, it was never that deep to begin with.
We create this epic love story in our heads, one where we were destined to be together but were tragically separated by fate.
And that, my friend, is pure fiction.
But oh, it feels so real at the time, doesn’t it?
In the end, we obsess over “The One That Got Away” because they represent unfinished business. An unresolved chapter in our personal love story.
And as humans, we hate leaving things open-ended.
We crave closure, even when there isn’t any to be found. It’s tough to accept that sometimes, people leave our lives not because of some grand, romantic reason, but simply because it wasn’t meant to be.
No amount of overanalysing, reminiscing, or stalking their LinkedIn profile is going to change that.
The real trick to moving on from “The One That Got Away” is recognizing that they didn’t actually get away. They just weren’t meant for you.
And that’s okay!
There’s always going to be someone better suited for you who’s excited to stick around.
But until then, we can accept that sometimes, people cross paths with us for a reason, and that reason might just be to help us learn how to let go.
And honestly?
Letting go of someone who doesn’t want to be held onto is the most empowering move you can make.
Lessons Learned: What Unrequited Love Taught Me (Besides How to Ugly Cry)
As much as unrequited love sucks, it’s not all bad.
I mean, sure, it teaches you how to ugly cry like a pro and gives you some pretty cringe-worthy stories to share with your friends over wine, but it also has some surprisingly valuable lessons tucked into all that emotional chaos.
Like a slightly bitter, tear-streaked fortune cookie.
First, it teaches you resilience.
Serious emotional endurance!
I’m talking about the kind of resilience where you can see your crush post a picture with their new boo and not immediately break down.
It’s like running a marathon, but instead of training your body, you’re training your heart to bounce back.
The first time you experience unrequited love, it feels like the end of the world, but by the third or fourth time (because, let’s be real, it happens more than once), you’re like, “Okay, been here, done that. I’ll survive.” You build up this emotional muscle that helps you deal with future heartbreaks in a healthier, less self-destructive way.
And then there’s the self-discovery part.
Unrequited love forces you to reflect on what you really want and deserve in a relationship.
You start to realize that maybe the person you’ve been pining over isn’t the ideal partner you thought they were.
Maybe they’re a little flaky, or not as emotionally available as you’d like, or they use the phrase “no cap” unironically.
Whatever it is, you start to see them more clearly, and you learn what you’re willing to tolerate. And what you’re not.
You become more selective, and that’s a good thing.
Unrequited love is like a relationship mirror. It shows you all the things you’ve been ignoring about what you actually need.
Another thing I learned?
How to be my own biggest fan!
You have to start rooting for yourself when the person you want doesn’t.
It sounds cheesy, but unrequited love can be the perfect opportunity for self-love.
I mean, if the object of your affection isn’t showering you with compliments, you’ve got to pick up the slack, right?
It’s like you graduate from the school of heartbreak with a PhD in being your own hype person.
You learn to value yourself independently of someone else’s feelings for you.
And honestly, that’s the best lesson unrequited love can teach. You stop waiting for someone else to validate your worth and realize that you were enough all along.
Also, let’s talk about the clarity that comes from getting over someone.
Once you’re out of the unrequited love fog, it’s like a breath of fresh air.
You realize that the world is so much bigger than that one person, and there are so many more opportunities for love out there.
Unrequited love narrows your focus, but when you finally move past it, your perspective broadens, and suddenly you’re excited about the possibilities again. It’s empowering to look back and think, “Wow, I was really stuck on that person, but look at me now: Thriving!”
Unrequited love also helps you appreciate the value of mutual feelings when you eventually experience them!
After going through the emotional wringer, you’ll know what a gift it is when someone reciprocates your affection.
You won’t take it for granted.
You’ll recognize the beauty of a relationship where you’re both on the same page, and it’ll feel even sweeter after all those times you were reading the wrong book.
So, while unrequited love may feel like an emotional dumpster fire while you’re in it, once you make it to the other side, you’ll see it for what it is: a growth experience, a lesson in resilience, and a stepping stone toward finding the love that actually deserves you.
And hey, now you know how to ugly cry with the best of them. An essential life skill if you ask me!
How to Let Go: Moving On Without Burning Their House Down
Letting go of unrequited love is like trying to pull off a Band-Aid: slowly at first, because you’re scared of the pain, but eventually you just have to rip that thing off.
And honestly?
It stings!
There’s no sugar-coating the fact that moving on from someone who never loved you back is tough. You’ll go through the whole rollercoaster of emotions: sadness, anger, confusion, the occasional delusion that maybe they’ll change their mind.
But at some point, you realize you’re just holding onto the ghost of a relationship that never was, and it’s time to let go. Preferably without burning their house down in a fit of melodramatic rage.
So, how do you let go without going full Taylor Swift revenge song on them?
First off, let’s start with the basics: stop stalking them.
Yes, I said it!
I know that late-night scroll through their Instagram seems innocent, but it’s not helping. Every time you see a picture of them living their life, especially if it involves someone else, you’re reopening the wound.
Trust me, you’re not going to magically find “closure” in their tagged photos. If anything, you’ll just end up comparing yourself to their new romantic interests, and that’s a one-way ticket to a self-esteem nosedive.
So do yourself a favour: unfollow, mute, block if you have to. Out of sight, out of mind, and all that.
And while we’re at it, delete their number.
No, seriously. Delete it!
There’s nothing worse than having one too many glasses of wine and suddenly thinking, “You know what would be a great idea? Texting him at 2 a.m. and confessing my feelings again.”
Resist the temptation to send that dramatic “I just need to know…” text.
You don’t need to know!
The fact that you’re not together is all the answer you need. Don’t go fishing for closure where there’s none to be found. Trust me, nothing good has ever come from a 2 a.m. text to your unrequited love.
Another crucial step in moving on is finding ways to fill that emotional void.
I know, I know… It sounds super basic, but finding hobbies, passions, and people who make you feel good is a game-changer.
You’ve been spending all this energy obsessing over someone who isn’t giving you the time of day, so now it’s time to reinvest that energy back into you. Whether it’s throwing yourself into a new project, hitting the gym, or finally learning to make those TikTok-famous baked feta pasta dishes, staying busy helps shift your focus away from them and back onto yourself.
One thing people don’t talk about enough is how important it is to rebuild your identity outside of that person.
When you’re stuck in unrequited love, your whole world starts to revolve around them: what they’re doing, how they’re feeling, what they think of you.
It’s exhausting!
So, take some time to remember who you are when they’re not in the picture.
Do the things you love, spend time with the people who make you laugh, and slowly but surely, you’ll start to realize that you’re pretty amazing all on your own.
And if we’re being really honest, sometimes it helps to give yourself a little closure, even if it’s self-imposed.
Write that letter you’ll never send, pour out all the emotions you’ve been bottling up, and then toss it in the trash (or burn it for dramatic effect).
Sometimes we need to externalize our feelings to move past them, even if the person we’re writing to will never see a word of it.
You can’t control what they do or how they feel, but you can control how you process your emotions. A little symbolic release can go a long way.
It’s also okay to be mad for a minute.
Unrequited love can make you feel like you wasted your time, your energy, and your heart on someone who never saw you in that light.
And yeah, that can make you angry!
So feel that anger, vent to your best friend, scream into a pillow if you need to, but don’t let it consume you.
Anger has a way of sticking around longer than it’s welcome, and it can turn into bitterness if you’re not careful.
Once you’ve had your little emotional tantrum, let it go! Let it gooooo!!!! (don’t get me started singing this)
Holding a grudge against someone who didn’t love you back is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. It only hurts you.
Most importantly, remember that moving on isn’t a straight line.
Some days, you’ll feel great, like you’re totally over it and ready to conquer the world.
Other days, you’ll see something that reminds you of them and feel like you’re back at square one.
That’s normal!
Healing isn’t linear!
What matters is that, over time, those painful moments become fewer and farther between.
Eventually, you’ll look back on this whole situation and laugh at how much energy you gave it. It’ll be a funny story to tell your friends, not something that makes your heart ache anymore.
And guess what?
By letting go, you’re actually making room for the love you deserve.
Someone who’s just as excited about you as you are about them.
Someone who doesn’t leave you guessing or second-guessing. It’s a scary step, but it’s the most freeing thing you’ll ever do.
So delete that number, mute that Instagram account, and focus on living your best life.
You’ve got this!
The Happy Ending Isn’t About Them—It’s About You
Here’s the plot twist that no rom-com ever prepares you for: the real happy ending isn’t about getting the person you’ve been pining for.
It’s about realizing that your worth, your happiness, and your future are not tied to them at all.
The happy ending is when you finally stop waiting for someone else to complete you and realize: you’ve been complete all along.
It’s like unlocking a secret level in a video game where you discover that the prize isn’t the love story, it’s you.
The thing about unrequited love is that it tricks you into thinking that if only they reciprocated, everything in your life would magically fall into place. You’d be happy, confident, and all the heartache would vanish.
But the truth is, even if they suddenly decided to fall head over heels for you tomorrow, it wouldn’t solve everything.
Why?
Because real happiness can’t come from someone else. It has to start with you.
At some point in the unrequited love saga, you realize you’ve spent so much time trying to win someone else’s affection that you’ve been neglecting the most important relationship in your life: the one with yourself.
That’s the happy ending you didn’t even know you were searching for. When you stop trying to mould yourself into someone else’s dream girl and start embracing who you are, flaws and all.
The beauty of it?
You don’t need anyone’s approval to be fabulous.
I know, I know. It sounds like one of those clichés you hear from well-meaning friends after a breakup: “You don’t need anyone else to make you happy!”
But there’s a reason people say it. They say it because It’s true!
The happy ending comes when you stop measuring your value based on whether or not someone loves you back.
You’re more than someone’s crush, someone’s “maybe,” or someone’s “almost.”
You’re your own leading lady or man (unrequited love can go both ways), the one who doesn’t need anyone else to validate how awesome she is.
And can we talk about the sense of freedom that comes when you finally let go of that person who wasn’t meant for you?
It’s like shedding an emotional weight you didn’t even realize you were carrying. Suddenly, you’re free to live your life on your own terms, without constantly wondering if they will approve or reciprocate.
You get to rediscover what makes you happy, what excites you, and what you truly want. Not what you think you need to be for someone else.
Spoiler alert: it’s liberating!
Plus, the funny thing about letting go is that once you stop clinging to the idea of needing someone to love you back, the world opens up in ways you didn’t expect.
You start attracting people and opportunities that align with the real you, not the version of yourself you thought would win someone’s affection.
And when love does come around again, it’ll be mutual, respectful, and built on a solid foundation. Not the shaky, uncertain ground of unrequited feelings.
Remember, the happy ending isn’t some grand, sweeping gesture from someone else.
It’s the quiet realization that you’re perfectly okay on your own. It’s waking up one day and realizing that you no longer need their validation to feel worthy. You don’t need someone to chase after you in the rain, or text you back, or notice how great you are. Because you already know. And when you reach that point, that’s your happily ever after.
It’s not about them finally seeing your value. Truly, it’s about you seeing it. It’s about living your life for yourself, not for the hope that someone else might notice.
So yeah, unrequited love hurts, and it can take you to some pretty low places, but when you come out on the other side?
You’re stronger, wiser, and, most importantly, you realize that the real love story is the one you write for yourself.
The happy ending isn’t the one where they choose you. It’s the one where you choose yourself.
And trust me, that’s a way better story than any rom-com you’ve ever seen.
Conclusion: Write Your Own Happy Ending
At the end of the day, unrequited love teaches us that the most important relationship we’ll ever have is with ourselves.
Letting go of someone who doesn’t feel the same allows you to grow, to learn, and to finally see that your happy ending doesn’t rely on anyone else. It’s about you discovering your own worth and living a life that makes you proud.
But that doesn’t mean love and relationships can’t be part of your journey.
In fact, once you’ve learned to love yourself first, building a strong, meaningful connection with someone else becomes so much easier.
And speaking of building those connections, communication is key!
That’s where the Better Topics Card Game for Couples comes in.
Whether you’re in a new relationship or you’ve been together for years, this game is the perfect tool to spark meaningful, fun, and sometimes deep conversations with your partner. It’s designed to improve communication and bring you closer by helping you talk about everything—from your dreams and goals to those quirky little things that make your relationship unique.
Imagine sitting down with your significant other, drawing a card, and discovering new ways to connect.
Whether you’re just looking to have fun or work through some tougher topics, Better Topics can help you strengthen your bond and open up in ways you never thought possible. It’s not just a game. It’s a relationship tool that helps you write a better love story, one where communication is clear, and both of you feel heard and understood.
So, grab the Better Topics Card Game today and start playing it with your partner.
Who knows?
It might just be the spark that turns your “happily ever after” into an everyday reality.
