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Is my boyfriend cheating? 50 Signs that say he is and how to deal with it!

boyfriend cheating

Boyfriend cheating is a topic that is as old as… well relationships… 

That doesn’t mean it is good. It just means that it is a topic that keeps recurring once in a while. And one that has widely been discussed. 

From questions as to why people cheat, to questions like: who cheats most, we’ve heard it all by now. 

Most common reasons for boyfriend cheating? 

People cheat for a variety of reasons, and it’s important to note that every situation is unique. However, here are some common reasons why people may engage in infidelity:

  1. Lack of satisfaction in the current relationship: Some individuals may feel unfulfilled or dissatisfied in their current relationship. They may seek excitement, novelty, or emotional or physical intimacy outside of the relationship to fill those gaps.
  2. Emotional disconnect: When emotional needs are not met within a relationship, individuals may seek emotional connection and validation from someone else. This can lead to emotional affairs, where the individual forms a strong bond with someone outside of their committed relationship.
  3. Desire for variety or novelty: Some people may have a strong desire for variety and novelty in their romantic or sexual experiences. They may engage in infidelity as a means to fulfill their curiosity or explore different aspects of their desires.
  4. Low relationship satisfaction: If a person feels unsatisfied or unhappy in their current relationship, they may turn to infidelity as a way to seek happiness or fulfillment elsewhere.
  5. Lack of communication and unresolved issues: Poor communication and unresolved conflicts within a relationship can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, or loneliness. If these issues are not addressed, one or both partners may be more susceptible to seeking connection or validation outside the relationship.
  6. Opportunistic situations: Some individuals may cheat when presented with an opportunity, even if they are generally satisfied in their relationship. Factors such as alcohol or drug use, peer pressure, or being in a long-distance relationship can contribute to these opportunistic situations.
  7. Insecurity or low self-esteem: Individuals with low self-esteem or feelings of insecurity may seek validation and affirmation from others outside of their relationship. Infidelity may provide a temporary boost to their self-esteem or confidence.
  8. Revenge or retaliation: In some cases, a person may cheat as a form of retaliation or revenge due to perceived or actual transgressions within the relationship. This behavior is often driven by a desire to hurt or seek a sense of justice.
  9. Sexual dissatisfaction: If a person feels sexually unsatisfied in their relationship, they may seek sexual fulfillment or exploration outside of their partnership.
  10. Personal issues and unresolved baggage: Sometimes, personal issues such as unresolved trauma, unresolved past relationships, or unresolved emotional baggage can contribute to infidelity. These personal issues may lead individuals to seek validation, escape, or emotional release outside of their current relationship.

It’s important to remember that none of these reasons justify or excuse infidelity. Maintaining open communication, addressing relationship issues, and building trust are crucial for preventing and addressing infidelity within a relationship.

50 signs of your boyfriend cheating:

While it’s not possible for me to provide an exhaustive list of signs of your boyfriend cheating, here are some common indicators that could suggest infidelity. 

It’s important to remember that these signs are not definitive proof, and individual situations may vary. Trust and open communication are crucial when addressing concerns about infidelity. 

1. Increased secrecy about his activities

If he starts keeping secrets from you repeatedly and you know something might be off… it probably is. 

2. Frequent and unexplained absences

Ok, it can happen once in a while for him to work overtime… or to have to deal with that one client who’s demanding… but if it happens more and more frequently… you know something is up. 

3. Decreased or secretive phone and computer usage

If he tends to be on his phone only when you’re not around and there isn’t a chance of you glancing over to his phone or computer… you know he’s hiding something. 

And if he is not planning a surprise birthday party or trip for the two of you… you know that the option is. 

4. Password-protecting his devices

If there was a time where neither of you had passwords for your phones and computers… and then suddenly he installs some… WITHOUT letting you know what those passwords are… you know something is fishy and it smells bad… really bad! 

5. Unusual or excessive phone calls, texts, or messaging apps

If he is constantly on the phone, calling or texting, when he didn’t used to be so often… you know he is communicating with someone and that someone is not you… but who is? 

6. Sudden changes in appearance or grooming habits

If he gets used to wearing the same t-shirt and sweatpants for weeks and then suddenly he starts taking more frequent showers and grooming himself… you know he is trying to impress someone. But who is that someone if it’s not you? 

7. Loss of interest in physical intimacy with you

It is extremely rare that men lose their interest in physical intimacy with their partner… unless they can get that somewhere else… 

8. Unexplained expenses or discrepancies in financial matters

If you guys share your bank account and you notice some unusual expenses or discrepancies, and he is not surprising you with gifts or secretly planning a holiday… you know he is spending that money on something… or someone! 

9. Increased focus on personal appearance or fitness

If your partner has always been into taking care of their personal appearance or fitness that’s amazing. 

But if they haven’t been and suddenly they’re at the gym every day… you know something might be up… there are signs of your boyfriend cheating on you. 

10. Defensive or evasive behaviour when asked about his actions

What used to be a normal conversation of ‘how was your day?’ or ‘what are you up to later?’ becomes a struggle to get answers to or he even avoids answering the questions altogether,  you know something might be up with him… and it might be time to dig deeper to find out exactly what’s up. 

11. Emotional distance and lack of engagement in conversations

If your boyfriend starts to be more and more distant from you, without having any good reason it might mean that their mind is on something else… or someone else. 

12. Unexplained anger or irritability

If he gets angry or irritable with you without any seeming reason… it might mean that his mind is on someone else and they are losing their patience with you when in fact they would want to be somewhere else. 

13. Frequent and unexplained work-related events or late nights at the office

This is a classic one when it comes to boyfriend cheating! 

I mean we all understand that one project that runs late and they need to work some overtime to finish it… but if it’s too frequent… they might be working on a different project, if you know what I mean! 

14. Decreased interest in spending time together or engaging in shared activities

Whenever someone is into you they normally would want to spend a lot of time together. And if this interest is diminishing considerably… then you know that something is up. 

I would suggest you have an open and honest conversation about what the reasons for that might be. And if your boyfriend cannot give you an exact reason for it… it might just mean that their mind is on something else… or better said… someone else. 

Might be worth investigating!

15. Unusual or excessive interest in his phone or computer privacy

If suddenly he changes his phone and computer password and is super concerned about his privacy… you know that something is up and he is hiding something. 

16. Secrecy around his social media accounts or creating new accounts

If you notice that your boyfriend has a secret social media account that he hasn’t told you about and is not sharing with you… you know what means right? 

He might use it to engage with other people, who are not you… might be worth having a serious conversation about it! 

17. Changes in his usual routines or habits

Humans are creatures of habit. Meaning we tend to make almost anything a habit because it is just so simple to keep it up afterwards. 

If your boyfriend’s habits start to change out of the blue… know that something is up and it might be a good idea to keep an eye on him and see what is he up to really! 

18. Increased interest in new hobbies or activities without your involvement

Having new interests or new hobbies is not a bad thing in itself. It’s how they go about it that makes it a bit suspicious. 

If they don’t tell you too much about it, they don’t share their excitement with you and they even try to divert the discussion from it when you bring it up… you know they are hiding something and there is a whole lot they’re not telling you. 

19. Unexplained gifts or items that don’t seem to be for you

 If you find some hidden gifts in the house and then they disappear instead of being gifted to you… it is very probably because  of signs of your boyfriend cheating and those gifts were for the other person… 

20. Excessive concern about his appearance when going out without you

It is normal to want to look more put together when going out. But if your boyfriend is excessively concerned about his appearance when going out without you… you know they want to catch someone’s attention… but who’s? 

Time to do some detective work and find out! 

21. Overprotective of his phone or computer, not allowing you to use them

If not only they’ve changed their password on their phone or computer but they also are not allowing you to use them, invoking some lame excuses… then you know they are hiding something… time to find out more when they’re not around! 

22. Secretive or defensive behaviour when discussing his social life

If your boyfriend is becoming secretive about his social life it is clear they are not comfortable with sharing everything… and that should make you wonder at least as to what that is. 

What are they trying to hide? 

23. Unexplained changes in his social circle or new friends

If suddenly he has some new friends in his social circle and his behaviour is also quite different since… you know something is up and you should look into that! 

24. Decreased communication or lack of responsiveness to messages

If there was a time when you boyfriend would always respond to your messages, or even be the first one to text you, and then suddenly they stopped doing that without giving you a clear reason… it might mean that they’ve lost interest in you and they might be redirecting their attention towards someone else… 

It might warrant having a conversation with him about it and trying to understand what is going on? 

25. Less affectionate behaviour and avoidance of physical contact

Even the strongest or the manliest of men still appreciates affection and physical contact. So if your boyfriend is less and less affectionate with you to a point where he avoids having physical contact with you… you know something is up. 

And the question is: Who is he affectionate with if not with you?

26. Unexplained absences during important events or special occasions

If your boyfriend is mostly absent during important events or special occasions and he is not giving you a good valid reason for it, you should start wondering where and with whom is he spending that time, if not with you. 

27. Increased criticism or nit-picking about your behaviour

If everything you’re doing becomes a reason for an argument it might warrant a clear discussion and try to find out what’s up! 

If he doesn’t give you a clear reason as to what is up and why he is always angry with you, then it might be because he is looking for a reason to break up with you. 

Might be worth looking into it some more and finding out more details. 

28. Unexplained charges or activities on shared accounts

If he is spending money without you knowing, or telling you and it is clearly not a potential surprise for you… it might mean that he is spending that money with someone else. 

Confront him about it and see what he has to say about that! 

29. Change in sexual preferences or interests

It is normal to want to explore new things in the bedroom. But if your partner’s interests suddenly change and are quite different from before… it makes you wonder how he even learned about them if not with you. 

30. Unavailability or unwillingness to make plans for the future

If every time you want to plan something for the foreseeable future, he always excludes himself from those plans and is not giving you an explanation… it might mean that he doesn’t see you in his future anymore. He might already be looking for someone else… or even maybe has already found someone else? 

31. Unusual or excessive defensive behaviour when discussing fidelity or cheating

If cheating and fidelity comes up in a discussion and he just gets super defensive about it or even snappy, it might be because he thinks you’re suspecting something and maybe just trying to see if he admits to doing anything… 

Maybe ask him things like: how would you hide it? And then wait and see what he says… he might give you some good insight as to where to start digging for more information. 

32. Increased interest in privacy regarding his personal space or belongings

If suddenly he is bothered by you going through his things or personal space he is clearly hiding something from you, or evidence of someone else in his life? 

33. Secretive behaviour regarding his whereabouts or who he is spending time with

If he refuses to tell you where he is and with whom it might be because of signs of your boyfriend cheating on you and just doesn’t want to lie… so he would rather just avoid answering you clearly. 

Or he might lie to you just so you don’t pop up there and check on him… 

Either way it’s fishy… 

34. Inconsistent or contradictory stories about his activities

Many think they are good liars… when in fact they even forget what they lied about… that’s why it is always easier to just tell the truth… This way there is no need to remember lies as well as the truth… 

So if your boyfriend starts having contradictory stories about his activities and whereabouts… you know he is hiding something… you just need to find out what it is! 

35. Unexplained or sudden emotional changes

If one day he was all in love with you and super excited to spend time together and then suddenly everything changed… it might be because he found someone else to be in love with. 

36. Excessive or secretive use of social media platforms

If he is secretly using social media platforms and is hiding it from you… It might be another sign of your boyfriend cheating and is secretly in contact with other people in a way that he should be. 

37. Change in his sleep patterns or unexplained tiredness

If he comes home and is unusually tired when he shouldn’t be, it makes you wonder what was he up to that made him that tired… Who was he spending his time with? 

It is understandable that we all might have a crazy day and need to just sleep it off… but if it just started happening and it continues happening… it might be worth looking into it and find out what the real reason is. 

38. Unexplained changes in his online browsing history

If suddenly he starts going on various meet-up sites it is clear that he is looking for someone else… 

If he suddenly starts deleting his browsing history it is clear that he is hiding something from you… maybe someone… and it’s a sign of your boyfriend cheating.

39. Lack of interest in resolving conflicts or issues within the relationship

If he has no interest in resolving conflicts or issues in your relationship it is clear that he is not bothered to put any effort into it as he is interested in someone else… and not you… 

Might be worth having an honest discussion about this and try to understand what his reasons are for this. 

boyfriend cheating

40. Excessive or sudden interest in personal privacy and boundaries

If before they were quite open with you and then suddenly they are worried about their boundaries being trespassed… it might mean that they want to keep you at a distance as they might have something to hide. Like a whole other person in their life maybe? 

41. Unwillingness to introduce you to his friends or family

If your boyfriend is not willing to introduce you to his friends or family it might mean that they don’t see a future with you so they are not taking that step. 

It might also mean that they’ve introduced someone else to their family… And don’t want to introduce you too so they don’t have to explain themselves and the cheating they’re doing. 

42. Decreased engagement or interest in your relationship

If he loses interest in being with you and working on your relationship, it might mean that they already found someone else they are interested in and it is just a matter of time until you you’ll find out the truth about your boyfriend cheating. 

43. Excessive need for alone time or reluctance to spend time together

If suddenly they want to spend more and more time alone and they are reluctant to spend it with you… It might mean that they are hiding something. They might also be connecting with other people behind your back during that time… Time to find out more details about it and also have an honest conversation around this. 

44. Unexplained hostility or resentment towards you

If your boyfriend is hostile or holds resentment against you, it might mean that they are just looking for a reason to push you away. 

And that makes you wonder why they would want that. 

Maybe try having a discussion with your boyfriend about it? 

45. Unexplained and frequent out-of-town trips or travel

If they usually travel for work then that’s ok… But if suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere they start having frequent trips it makes you wonder what’s happening during these trips and who else is there with them… 

46. Increased interest in the personal lives of others, especially in terms of relationships

If suddenly he is interested in other people’s relationships in a way that he wasn’t before, it might be because he is trying to assess the opportunities he might have with other people from your circle of friends… Be careful where this conversation is going though…

47. Decreased interest in future plans or goals together

If he is not interested in making any future plans or setting goals together it might be because he doesn’t see you in his future anymore so he doesn’t even bother anymore. 

It might also mean that he found someone else to plan his future with… another sign of your boyfriend cheating.

48. Secretive behaviour regarding his finances or financial transactions

If he is not willing to share details about his financial situation or financial transactions, it might be because he is hiding something. 

And if he keeps his finances away and hidden… who knows what else he is hiding, right? 

49. Sudden changes in his daily routines or habits

If suddenly his daily routines or habits start changing and he is spending more time outside of the house without you… It might mean that he is doing something on the side… if you know what I mean…

50. Gut feeling or intuition that something is amiss.

Our gut, or sixth sense, many times is right in warning us that something bad is going to happen. It is however not 100% all the time so it might be worth investigating it a bit further. 

But don’t disregard your intuition just because your boyfriend denies everything at first. Keep a close eye on the situation. 

Remember, these signs alone are not definitive proof of infidelity. It’s essential to have open and honest communication with your partner and seek concrete evidence before making conclusions.

What to do if you find out about your boyfriend cheating?

Discovering about your boyfriend cheating can be a deeply upsetting and painful experience. 

It might seem like your whole world is crumbling down and you’re not sure what to do next. Or how to even start processing this. 

But here are some steps you can consider taking if you find out about your boyfriend cheating:

  1. Take care of yourself: Emotionally processing the news of infidelity can be overwhelming. Prioritize your self-care by allowing yourself to feel and process your emotions. Reach out to supportive friends or family members who can provide comfort and a listening ear.
  1. Gather evidence: If you feel the need for concrete evidence or confirmation,. Gather any available evidence that supports your suspicion of infidelity. This can include text messages, emails, or other tangible proof. However, remember to respect personal boundaries and privacy laws.
  1. Communicate your feelings: When you’re ready, have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about what you’ve discovered. Express your feelings, concerns, and the impact his actions have had on you. It’s important to communicate calmly and assertively, even though it may be difficult.
  1. Seek support: Reach out to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support as you navigate the emotional turmoil caused by the infidelity. They can help you process your emotions and explore your options moving forward.
  1. Evaluate the relationship: Take time to reflect on the relationship and consider whether you want to continue it. Consider factors such as trust, respect, and whether you believe the relationship can be rebuilt. This is a deeply personal decision, and there is no right or wrong answer.
  1. Establish boundaries: If you decide to continue the relationship, set clear boundaries and expectations with your boyfriend. Discuss what actions and changes are necessary to rebuild trust and prevent future infidelity. Both partners need to be committed to working on the relationship and rebuilding trust.
  1. Seek closure: Closure is essential for your healing process. Depending on the circumstances and your needs, you may choose to have closure through open and honest communication with your boyfriend. Or you may need to seek closure on your own by distancing yourself from the relationship.
  1. Take time to heal: Healing takes time and patience. Allow yourself the space and time needed to heal from the pain caused by the infidelity. Focus on self-care, engage in activities that bring you joy, and surround yourself with a supportive network.

Remember, this is a difficult situation, and it’s important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. You deserve love, respect, and trust in a relationship, and it’s okay to make decisions that are best for you.

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