Here are 25 dating rules that you should know!
Many of us have the impression that we already know how to date. But we’re so wrong.
It’s not like we’re taught in school what are the best rules for dating and then we just apply all this knowledge.
Some might be inspired enough and read a few books on it beforehand.
But as the majority of the population is starting dating in their teenage years, it is less likely that this ever happens.
So we end up learning a lot about dating from our own experiences and from what others tell us that dating should be about.
We then go through life and have years of bad dating experiences.
The below dating rules I’ve followed throughout my dating years and let me tell you, I was sooo happy I did. I had quite a few weird and even bad dating experiences, and because I was following the below rules, they didn’t end up being nightmare experiences.
Some of them are rules about staying safe whilst dating and others are just plain dating etiquette that everyone should follow.
1. Choose a public place for meeting
Especially if it’s your first or second date, you should choose a public place.
It is just for your own safety as most criminals are reluctant to do anything in public.
If at any point you feel something is off and you want to leave, you can do so as they are less likely to make a scene or be violent.
I’m not saying they will be, but they might. You never know, so better stay safe.
2. Choose a place where you can actually talk to each other and get to know each other.
First dates should be about getting to know each other. And what better way to do that than going somewhere where you can actually have a conversation with each other.
So no clubs if you’re really interested in getting to know your date.
3. Be prepared & have backup
Have a friend who always knows where you are and is ready to come and get you or call you if you need an ‘escape route’.
When I was dating, my brother ALWAYS knew where I was. Luckily nothing sinister ever happened. But he always knew who I was going out with and where. If we changed locations, I would text him.
Also, just to be safe he would call me at least once though my date and we would have safe words that would let him know if I’m in danger or everything is truly ok.
I know it might sound a bit much for some, but I felt super safe and happy he was looking after me and super happy that we used these types of dating rules.
4. Make sure you’re dressed appropriately for the weather and venue you’re going to.
Even if you’re just going for a walk in the park, still choose casual or even sportswear that looks nicer than the usual rugged clothes.
You’re getting to know each other and dressing nicely shows your date that you respect them and that this date is important to you.
It’s just basic dating etiquette, really.
5. Always be polite
Whatever happens, always be polite. Not just with your date but with other people too.
Always being polite should be common sense, but you would be surprised to hear that sense is actually not as common as you would expect.
Even if your date is rude, you can always choose to leave. But that is not an excuse for you to be rude back at them.
6. Always say the truth
That doesn’t mean you have to be rude. Don’t say things just because that’s what the other one wants to hear.
There are some people who are willing to say anything that their date might want to hear, but not actually mean it.
And it is quite annoying to be on the receiving end of it.
You’re making plans and getting your hopes up and then they all crumble once you realize that your date only said that because they thought that’s what you wanted to hear.
So if you wouldn’t like this happening to you, make sure you don’t do it to others.
I feel like this should be very high on the rules for dating checklists.
7. Have enough cash on you
As you’re on the first date(s) and you’re still getting to know each other, you still don’t know which turn the date will take.
So just to be safe and not depend on your date to take you home, make sure you have enough cash to do that yourself, should the need arise.
8. Be on time or even earlier
Being late is never ‘fashionable’. It’s just simply rude.
I’m usually late for most things, and my husband used to get quite annoyed with me every time I would make us late anywhere.
But what I started doing is starting to get ready earlier than I would usually do. This helped me a lot with being on time, if not slightly early.
Everyone is busy these days, and even if you don’t have anything planned to do after your date, it is still rude to make people wait for you just because you cannot organize yourself and your time properly.
9. Don’t touch your phone unless it’s important
This should be common sense again, but I’ve put it here just to be on the safe side.
You can catch up with all short videos and posts when you’re on your own, or on your way to your date (If you’re not driving). There is no need to do that during your date.
Unless there is something urgent that needs your attention, better leave your phone in your bag if you feel you won’t be able to keep your hands away from it.
It is rude and it just shows your date that you’re actually not interested in them.
10. Don’t have too many expectations
It’s just a date.
You might meet the love of your life, but it might also not lead to much. Either way, enjoy your time and stay safe.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or on your dating partner. It’s ok if it doesn’t work out the first time.
You can have many other dates, with the same person if you want, or even with others if you feel the current person you’re dating is not the right one.
If you start putting too much pressure on yourself and raise your expectations too high, you’ll just end up stressing yourself out and forget to actually enjoy dating.
11. No pics for social media yet!
As you’re still on your first dates and getting to know each other, try to refrain from posting pictures of you two on social media.
At least for a while, until you know if this is going to get serious.
I used to have a friend that would constantly post guys she was dating even after just 1 date.
This became kind of cringe, especially after they would ghost her or dump her after just 2 or 3 dates.
News like this travels fast and labels (although it’s not fair) do get attached quickly.
You do expose yourself to critique and judgment if you start posting things like these too soon, before they even get to be something serious.
12. Be honest about what you’re looking for
Are you looking for a serious relationship or just a one-night stand?
I used to be super honest and tell my dates that I was looking for something serious and most of them fled.
But you know what? They actually did me a favor.
I didn’t have to waste my time with them. And I could focus on really finding a great partner for me.
However, if you’re looking for one-night-stands, I’m not going to judge you.
You do whatever YOU want to do.
But at least be honest about it with your date. Don’t drag them into something they have no interest in being a part of.
13. Be ready to pay
Again the old question: ‘Who should pay?’
Usually the man should pay.
But that doesn’t mean that as a woman you cannot be polite to at least offer to pay to or split.
Most men will insist on paying, and there are a few that can’t wait for you to offer and they will let you pay.
Now it is entirely up to you to decide if you’re ok with this or not. And it does raise the question: If he is not willing to pay whilst you’re dating, should you be worried about what is going to happen later on?
On the other hand, if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t mind paying, whether you’re a woman or a man. Then this shouldn’t even be an issue and you should have things prepared to do so.
But for any eventuality, be ready to pay, because you might get to a point where you will need to pay.
14. Try having an actual conversation with your date.
Say more than just Yes or No answers to questions.
You can still be mysterious and have a conversation with your date. There’s nobody saying that you should tell them everything on the first date.
But you should still be able to have a good ol’ chat around harmless topics, at least until you get to know them better.
15. Focus on the date and on your date.
Not on your phone, or others around you. I feel this is basic etiquette, but having happened to me a few times, I decided to include it in this list of dating rules.
Even if you meet some friends or people that you know, make sure to focus on your date.
They have carved out time to be just with you and to get to know you.You’ll have other occasions to spend with your friends.
16. Don’t make the date just about yourself.
Remember you’re not the only person on this date. There’s 2 of you.
And ideally there should be a back and forth conversation between the two of you, not just a monologue on your side… or their side for that matter.
Even if you’re the type of person who talks a lot when they get nervous, try to remember the dating period is for the both of you to get to know each other.
Maybe having a list of questions might help you remember to ask your date something too.
17. Keep the conversation light and fun.
I’m not saying you should hide any traumatic events you’ve had in your life, but it might be better if you leave those for another time.
Dates should be fun and lighthearted, especially at first.
As you get to know each other better, you can also start having the occasional serious and deep conversations too.
18. Be yourself
There are too many people who hide who they really are just because they’re afraid of rejection or being alone for too long.
This does not only take a lot of energy to keep up, but eventually if your date likes you for your fake personality, they will feel very disappointed once they found out you’ve been lying to them, and they will leave regardless.
But if you’re truly yourself on a date, those that don’t gel with you will leave regardless.
And those who really like you, will like you for the real you, without having to put up a mask.
19. Don’t promise too much on a first date, or second.
You don’t really know them.
Sometimes it takes years to really know people. So don’t make promises you might not want to keep once you get to know them better.
Don’t say things like: ‘I’ll go with you to X event’ or any other promises that you might not be able to keep if you guys are not seeing each other after a few dates.
First get to know each other, and then decide if you want to do something specific together.
20. Don’t judge or criticize
When your date is telling you stories from their past or events that happened to them try to refrain from judging them or criticizing them.
You don’t know them yet.
And secondly, you might have taken the same decision, if not worse, should you have been in their exact shoes.
Remember that we’re all different people and we all react and act differently even in the same situation. And we never know the entire situation to be able to even have an opinion on the matter.
21. Learn about their past
Learning about our dating partner’s past is super valuable.
We get to see and understand what their limits are, what they like and what is their most likely answer and action under a stressful situation.
We get to learn so much about who they are as a person and what makes them tick.
And more importantly, what upsets them. So we can avoid that.
22. Learn about their present
Their present is also quite interesting to talk about.
It shows you how passionate they are about something and what their current situation is.
This can give you an insight into their immediate plans and if your life would fit well with theirs, should you both get along well and want to be in an exclusive relationship.
23. Learn about their future
Asking questions about their future you can learn how ambitious they are and how passionate they are about what they want to do.
It also tells you if you guys are compatible in your plans AND if he even wants to include you in them.
There are so many things we can learn from what our dating partners tell us, so make sure to ask all the right questions.
24. Don’t be afraid to call or text the next day
Whether you’re a man or a woman, you should not be afraid of being considered desperate if you initiate communication after a date.
This is not the 1800s and it is ok for women to take control of their life and be open about how they feel.
Equally, if you don’t think this is not going anywhere with this date, let them know in a polite way.
We’ve all been ghosted at some point in our lives and we know how bad it feels. Let’s not do that to others.
25. Don’t forget to have fun.
Dating is supposed to be fun.
Dating is not a marathon nor a competition.
We are all different people and are dating differently.
So, sit back, relax, take a deep breath and enjoy it.
Conclusion
Dating should be fun overall, and although there are many dating rules that you can find online, there’s no guarantee that other people will follow all of them.
However, if YOU follow at least these 20 rules for dating it will make your dating life easier and ensure you will have fun.
Take note of them and even if you don’t get to ask all your questions right away, that’s fine.
There’s nothing stopping you from asking them on a second date, or third, or even fourth.
